Boats N' Throws 17'

[Slaine Rodrick]

~EARLIER TODAY~

(Footage captured earlier is shown, a moving shot of Johnny Rebel being escorted by the medical staff on a stretcher off of PW’s Slaine Rodrick’s Yacht. You hear a lot of Camera’s shutters going off as the sound is the only thing filling the scene noise wise as the medics rolled off. Slaine was seen as media tried to intervene, his hands immediately began pushing back figuratively on their efforts.)

SLAINE RODRICK: The time for questions is not right now. I will address this matter tonight when things go live. That’s all!

(Slaine’s head went down as he directed his attention to his phone, pretty much offering the same stance as he had just told reporters. That was the end of the footage as all had cut to Slaine in the ring. His theme music dying down as fans settled down. There was a solemn expression on his face as he waited for everything to calm.)

ALPINE: With all the ways to start a major event like this off, having it start off this way is not one.

RODZ: Not at all, pal! Has to be numerous thoughts running through that man’s mind. The look on his face says it all!

SLAINE RODRICK: I will keep things short and sweet but just to inform all of you from the footage you just watched, our own Johnny Rebel was attacked shortly after all the wrestlers for the event boarded the Yacht. We are working hard to find out and we will before the night is over!

(Applause was given as Slaine cleared his throat.)

SLAINE RODRICK: We are going to do this right tonight! In memory of Johnny Rebel, I plan on giving you fans another unforgettable over-the-boat battle royale showcase. You will be left with your jaws on the floor in awe yet again! That’s all I will say, enjoy the show!

(Slaine is given another round of applause, even louder than the previous as he exited the ring and made his way to the back. We cut backstage where two massive men and a smaller woman can be seen walking through a cabin corridor. They get a few odd looks as they move throughout the area, no one recognizing who they are as they do.)

Asger: What are we even doing here? This place is filled with weaklings.

Jade: Calm it Asger. This place is a collection of some of the best wrestlers in the world.

Azazel: But we don't fight tonight.

Jade: We don't, but we still have a job tonight.

Azazel: Like he needs our help.

Jade: Do I need to tell him how you feel?

Azazel: No...

Jade: Good, now let's get to work. We must prepare for his return.

(The trio walk off and disappear down a set of corridors. Off camera the loud slamming of feet can be heard, drawing the cameraman in the direction of the sound. With heavy footfalls against the carpeted floors of the corridor, Seth Black appears, his eyes narrowed and his nose flared. He looks pissed, and he pushes open one of the cabin doors, looking inside for a moment, before moving onto the next one and repeating the same routine. It’s clear he’s looking for someone. And that someone happens to be none other than Finn Whelan. The Seattle Saint pulls open a door, running a hand through his hair as he does so. He says something to someone behind him, and a snicker falls out of his mouth. It doesn’t take long for Black to move in his direction, turning on his heel the second he hears his voice.)

SETH BLACK: Whelan!

(Finn looks up, cocking an eyebrow as he does so. Seth still looks pissed, and this leaves Whelan looking semi-confused.)

SETH BLACK: Did you do it?

FINN WHELAN: Did I do . . . what exactly?

(Seth’s face mutates into an even more irritated, pissed off expression.)

SETH BLACK: Don’t pretend you’re an idiot, Whelan. Johnny Rebel's little 'accident'? It has your name written all over it.

(Even before Seth is done speaking, Finn’s already rolling his eyes, as if he’s heard this once before. He lets the door slam shut behind him, and starts to walk away, throwing up a hand lackadaisically.)

FINN WHELAN: Wasn’t me, Black.

(Not willing to be brushed off, Black moves towards Whelan once more, grabbing him by the shoulder and forcing him to turn around. In response, Finn lets himself be turned toward the General Manager of Redemption, and steps forward, almost as if he’s going to get in his face. Which, in actuality, he does. Barely an inch away.)

FINN WHELAN: And what exactly would I gain from injuring him, Black? Hm? It’s not my M.O. And quite honestly, it’s a little bit fucked that you would come at me with the accusation. There are, and were, several others in this company that would fit the profile more than me. How about Inoue, or even the Collective for that matter? Want a list?

(Seth snorts, but doesn’t move back either. They stand, staring each other down.)

SETH BLACK: Because it wouldn’t be like you to try and blame someone else, would it?

FINN WHELAN: Actually, it wouldn’t. Did you forget in the same exact show, a lighting rig fell on me? I’m sick of this shit, Seth. I come in here, I do my job, and I don’t play games. You come at me with accusations of bullshit that I wouldn’t even do, and expect me to just sit back and let you point fingers. If you want to do something, then do it. Otherwise, stop pushing your bullshit onto me.

(This time, Seth doesn’t say anything. He raises his head, looking at Finn with narrowed eyes. Finn’s glare is just as venomous in return.)

FINN WHELAN: I don’t have a problem with you, Black. I really don’t. But if you want one, then you’ve got one.

(Seth’s face slowly loses its pissed expression, and like a snail moving along, his lips turn upwards into a smirk.)

SETH BLACK: Be careful what you wish for, Whelan. Be very, very, careful.

(He turns away from Finn and makes his exit, disappearing down the corridor. Behind him, shaking his head, Whelan stares after him, his eyes still narrowed in irritation. He snorts to himself, hitting the wall with a balled fist, before turning and moving in the other direction as the scene cuts away to the commentary booth.)

ALPINE: Looks like Seth Black already has his target picked out.

RODZ: Dude he really needs to get over the whole slippery railing incident. It happened, Veronica probably did it, she's no longer here, get over it.

ALPINE: Doesn't matter to Seth. But what did he mean by that weird omen at the end?

RODZ: Something cool. But from the looks of it, we got something cool about to happen in the ring!

(From a small distance away we see a helicopter fluttering through the night sky, closing in on the yacht. Gently it moves down towards the ring, the wind nearly blowing off some spectators' wigs. The camera comes to focus on a white helicopter fluttering above the ring. Everyone turns their attention to the windy distraction as it floats down gently, stopping ten feet above the ring. The side hatch opens, and out appears the white cloaked head of a bearded old man. Upon a zoom up from the camera we see that the old man is Richard Roque dressed as Old Luke Skywalker! The crowd cheers, and popping up right beside him his is wife Peaches dressed as CGI Princess Leia. A decent “STAR WARS!!” chant gets going through the crowd as the two climb down the ladder and hop into the ring. Over Richard’s shoulder is a fully packed gym bag, which he drops right in the center of the ring.)

ALPINE: Last year Richard came down to the ring via dolphins, this year he comes via helicopter. Always with the extravagant entrance.

RODZ: Yet he hops out of a helicopter looking like an old hippie bum with an old hippie wife.

ALPINE: Johnny he’s dressed as Skywalker and she’s dressed like Leia.

RODZ: Exactly my point.

(Peaches Leia reaches into her leather vest pocket and pulls out Richard’s headset. She does him the liberties of turning it on and setting it over his cloaked head as he does a weird prayer in the center of the ring. Once the headset is properly set, she gives him a thumbs up.)

ROQUE SKYWALKER: Alright everybody!!! Let’s get ready to use the FOOOOOORRRRRRCCCCCEEEE!!!!

(A small dork portion of the crowd chants along with him. Peaches Leia ducks down and unzips the gym bag at his feet. She pulls out a phone book and hands it up to Richard with a smile.)

ROQUE SKYWALKER: Tonight is a special night!! Tonight I will use ‘the force’ to show what you Roque Total Body Fitness can do for you!! So for my first stunt, I will tear this phone book in half!!

(The crowd cheers as Roque grimaces to the crowd, takes a deep breath, then yanks away at the phone book!! However he only tears it halfway, but tosses it down like he tore it in half to the small reaction of the audience.)

ROQUE SKYWALKER: True strength!! Next object my love!!

(Peaches Leia reaches into the bag and pulls out a lead pipe. Richard holds it up to the crowd to show them it’s a real lead pipe, then does his best to bend it. He torques, he squeezes, he crushes down on it red faced. The most he gets is a bent L, then has the balls to show it off to the crowd afterward. This time he gets boos.)

ROQUE SKYWALKER: You too can have strength like this if you get on my twelve step system!!

(Peaches hands him the real bag filler, a Louiseville baseball bat. He holds it up to the crowd, who this time laugh at Richard actually trying to break a baseball bat. With deep breaths Richard rolls over the bat, locating the precut mark. He then smiles, puts on his game face, roars, and drives the bat into his extended knee! Much to the surprise of the fans, the bat breaks in half(with a very clean break mind you.) Fans cheer his little stunt as he mouths “ow” and falls back against the ropes, leading to Peaches Leia going to comfort her man. After catching his breath, Richard pushes off the ropes and holds up a hand.)

ROQUE SKYWALKER: If you were inspired by me tonight, don’t forget I have a plan that can help you!! Get yourself an early Christmas gift and take control of your life!!

(The crowd starts booing as a group of men make their way to ringside. Richard has his back to them and is quite confused.)

ROQUE SKYWALKER: Oh come on, getting in shape is nothing to boo about!! Boo bad guys, boo ghosts, but don’t boo fitness!!

(The booing persists, and Richard soon finds out why as the Collective slide into the ring behind him and start laying the boots to him! Peaches Leia screams in a panic and fleas the ring, annoyingly screaming “RICKY!!” over and over as The Collective flatten her husband. Tony hauls Richard to his feet and tosses him at Geno. Geno catches him with a big boot, drops him down into his lap, then flips him up and over his shoulder. As Richard dangles in a limbo position on Geno’s shoulder, Tony comes up and rips off his headset. Meanwhile Frankie ascends the nearest top rope, smiles and aims, then leaps off the top rope with a mushroom stomp on the jaw, followed by an avalanche slam to the mat!!! “OHHH!!!”s filter in with the boos as the Collective look down at the hurt Roque and smile. Tony then slips on the headpiece, looks to the crying Peaches Leia on the outside, and chuckles.)

TONY TIRA: Sorry toots, wrong place wrong time for your bible thumpin’ Star Wars dork of a husband. Nothing personal Richard.

(He then proceeds to flick a couple food crumbs off his black Affliction muscle shirt onto Roque.)

TONY TIRA: Damn this yacht has flaky calzones. Alright, now seeing as they gave this big nosed goofball a spotlight, we figured we’d take it like we do everything else in this world.

(Boos from the crowd as he throat flicks them back.)

TONY TIRA: We’re here to let you fucks know that we’re the most imposing force in this rumble. We don’t need no silly fuckin’ Halloween costumes for this rumble. We’ll comes as is. Slaine told us ‘costumes are mandatory’ and I laughed in his face. Leave that for the kids, we’re grown ass men. Three dangerous friends who will stop at nothing to show what we’re made of. But just in case you don’t believe what I say….Geno?

(Geno nods at his cue and reaches into the gym bag. He pulls out a fresh phone book, holds it up to the crowd, then rips it in half like he’s tearing in half a giant pad of movie tickets. There’s some “OOOH”s and “AHHH”s added to the boos as Geno takes the two halves and spikes them on Ricky. With their statement being made, Tony laughs and takes off the headset. He then spikes it down on Roque, bringing on a loud rumble over the PA. As soon as they’re clear Peaches Leia slides into the ring, immediately comforting her man. Cut to the booth.)

ALPINE: The Collective are completely out of line for doing that!! They attack their fellow wrestlers all the time, but this is not just a wrestler but also a sponsor!! Slaine cannot be too happy about that.

RODZ: Richard is a big boy, he can take care of himself. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about this dork, it’s that he has no fear and will retaliate against anyone who wrongs him. If he’d knock Ron Swat off a helicopter, he sure as hell would knock any of these gangsters into water.

ALPINE: The Collective have enough enemies as is. I don’t think they need another one.

RODZ: I don’t think they care. New York smog and head trauma have robbed them of any sensibility.

[Slaine Rodrick]

(The cameras go and find the current Phoenix Wrestling Tag Team Champions, Aurora and Masaru Inoue. They’ve found a monitor from somewhere and have it set up with them, people are walking back and forth around the area as it’s near the spot set up for concessions. Aurora’s costume is getting a lot of stares as she is dressed as The Banshee Queen, Sylvanas Windrunner from World of Warcraft, and Masaru gets his shares of stares as well dressed as The Metal Fetishist ala Tetsuo the Iron Man. Aurora fiddles around with the large High Elven bow that’s a part of her costume gear, to keep herself from restlessly pacing as she talks to Masaru.)

AURORA: I’m more amazed really that Johnny Rebel is still alive than by the fact that someone jumped him. He just hasn’t been the same since the Iron King Tournament, even Legacy thinks so. Ugh. The Collective again… Tony and Geno need to be owl food already, don’t they.

(Aurora pauses, her voice dropping dramatically in a way that shows she only intends for Masaru to hear what she’s saying.)

AURORA: It’s sort of peaceful, being this way. I didn’t think it would be, you know, when I was forced to choose and you know how I get about things like that. I barely miss all those little things people take for granted because what needs to work, works.

(She smiles at Masaru and pats his wrist, while it’s hard to tell with his makeup on, his own demeanor seems for the second almost calm as well, as if he understands what she’s even going on about.)

MASARU INOUE: Owl food, Olly would like that indeed! We can destroy them tonight, if they get too close, right? If they get in our way it won’t just be KER-PLOOSH overboard… oh. But just them. Just them… no. No. Anyone that gets in our way will be disposed and Olly can get fat, fat, fat from all the snacks!

(Maz throws up his index finger, seemingly having a sudden change of thought on possibly what he just said, smirking.)

MASARU INOUE: Actually, I can't just let him eat to his heart's' content from all the bodies we toss overboard. He will really have one heck of a feast. If he gets fat, fat, fat, he won't be able to fly, fly, fly!

(Aurora’s laugh is soft and musical, she reaches to gently pat Masaru’s cheek in a way that won’t smear his makeup when a loud and fearful scream cuts across everything, the pair of them orienting towards the bedrooms as the place it came from while the cameras go elsewhere. A high pitched scream caught Chris Andrew's attention as he was sitting on a couch on the lower deck of the ship hosting Boats N' Throws. Dropping the notebook he was writing over on the floor, he ran down the hallway reaching the cabin's door from where that voice came from. Slamming the door open, he burst in, finding his former tag team partner and roommate Faith sitting on the bunk, visibly distressed.)

CHRIS ANDREW: "Woah girl what happened?"

With a shaking hand, she pointed to the mirror. All over it, written in red paint the words "UR NEXT". Chris walked closer to the mirror, moving his finger over the U. The paint wasn't dry yet, meaning it wasn't long enough that whoever wrote this sneaked inside their room. And he did a great job at making it look like it was written in blood.

CHRIS ANDREW: "Hey..."

The words died on his lips. The lower bed, the one she was sitting on, had one huge red stain covering half of it. The pillow was literally soaked in that same blood looking liquid, some of which scattered on the cabin's wall. He sat next to her, placing himself between Faith and the red spot. He seemed to be struggling with himself for a moment, unsure on what to do. He and Faith, although showing a certain chemistry inside the ring were not exactly close. They never really talked to each other, aside from wrestling related things, and the only time they spent a couple of days together, training for that title shot against Hell Is Awaiting a few months back, she wasn't exactly friendly. Not to mention that she never checked on him during his recovery from that injury back in June. Nonetheless, given the particular circumstances and seeing how upset she still was, even if a couple of minutes already passed, he couldn't help but put an arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

CHRIS ANDREW: "Faith look at me..."

She raised her blonde head, looking at him. Cracking his sweetest smile, he talked to her in a calm and reassuring tone.

CHRIS ANDREW: "What's going on with you? I mean, you always seemed so calm, cold and rational... How can this upset you so much? I mean... It's Halloween, we're on a boat and you find some threatening message written on a mirror... I thought i saw something like this in at least a dozen horror movies. Trust me this was just a prank, nothing you should worry about."

Faith nodded lightly. She glanced at Chris' hand resting on her shoulder with a curious expression on her face. She didn't seem too comfortable with this closeness, but, despite how hard she was fighting the idea, it was exactly what she needed in this moment. Chris realized it, and he took her eyes off her to make things less awkward.

CHRIS ANDREW: "A good one, to be fair. Shame on me for not thinking of it! The best I could come up with was to grab this dead mouse I found on he lower deck and put it in Masaru's bed..."

She looked at him with a weird expression on her face. Hard to tell if she was more disgusted or amused. Chris turned his head and met her puzzled look. Shrugging lightly, he smiled.

CHRIS ANDREW: "Yeah not a brilliant idea... He probably picked it up as it was nothing and maybe ate it... Dude is bonkers, wouldn't surprise me to be honest..."

Faith laughed, pushing Chris away playfully. She seemed to be feeling way better now, although her mood turned serious once again as her eyes fell on the mirror.

CHRIS ANDREW: "Got any suspects for this? You think it was those Collective Dumbasses again?"

FAITH: "I don't know, but whoever did this, he must be in that Rumble. I'm going to find out and make it regret this."

Chris smiled, getting back on his feet and walking next to Faith. Both of them were staring at the writing on the mirror.

CHRIS ANDREW: "Now you're talking! You know, for a moment I thought you were someone dressed up as Faith. This is my badass tag partner! I honestly expect nothing less from you, find this piece of crap and knock his teeth in."

FAITH: "That's my plan."

CHRIS ANDREW: "Great. And after you're done with him, would you be so kind to jump off the ship so I can win this thing? You know, normally I wouldn't mind tossing you out, but after the moment we had before, when I comforted you like you were my little sister, I don't know if I can actually do it..."

He chuckled, looking at her image on the mirror. She did the same replying without looking straight at him.

FAITH: "Ha, you're funny dude, I give you that. Sorry to crush your dream, but I won this thing last year, and it's gonna be just the same this time."

Chris looked at her with fire and determination in his eyes. But he couldn't keep the front much longer, before bursting out laughing.

CHRIS ANDREW: "Good luck with that, and I really mean it. If I am to fail win this match, then I'd be happy to see you being the last one standing... But, back to more important and pressing matters, I found this secret stash of unguarded ice cream during my exploration of the lower deck. What if we grab some and eat somewhere far away from this mess?"

She nodded, giving one last look at the mirror.

CHRIS ANDREW: "You should also tell someone to change your sheets... By the way, what costume did you pick for the match? I think you'd look great dressed as a nurse..."

FAITH: "Really? This is not a bachelor party..."

CHRIS ANDREW: "What? I didn't mean a sexy nurse!"

She stared at him. This was once of those stuck situations where, no matter what he would say, things won't go well for him. Something he grew familiar with.

CHRIS ANDREW: "Although you'd probably rock it... I was thinking about that eyepatched nurse from that Kill Bill movie... That girl always gave me chills..."

FAITH: "Whatever... You said something about ice cream though, or did I heard wrong?"

She smiled, and he nodded.

CHRIS ANDREW: "Yes ma'am all the ice cream you want."

He held the door open for her. She stopped on the doorstep.

FAITH: "Also... Thanks for earlier."

(Chris smiled politely, closing the door after leaving the room. Cut to A.J. Morales, now wearing his full Green Lantern costume for the night, complete with the unique mask that specifically marks him as Kyle Rayner. We find him out in the crowd, and the camera trails behind as he makes his way up the deck, stopping to give high-fives and make quick friendly conversation with any fans who recognize him. After a while of this, A.J. finally reaches the entrance to Cassius Reed’s personal suite aboard the yacht, where he’s greeted by a bald, stocky security guard in his mid-to-late 30’s.)

Security Guard: Can I help you?

A.J. Morales: Yeah, I’d like to speak to Cassius.

(The security guard gives A.J. a deep, dismissive laugh.)

Security Guard: Sorry, man, that ain’t happenin’. I know who you are.

A.J. Morales: What?

(The guard pulls out a xeroxed poster with one of A.J.’s publicity photos on it, captioned above by the word “BANNED!” in block letters and below with “do not allow entry ~ by decree of the Iron King” in faux-handwritten font.)

Security Guard: Like I said, kid, ain’t happenin’.

(A.J. grabs the poster and looks at it. He has trouble believing what he’s seeing.)

A.J. Morales: Why would he go to the trouble of making this cheap-ass poster...?

(A.J.’s voice trails off. He puts two and two together and suddenly realizes why this poster exists. When he does, he discards it, visibly irritated, and looks the guard dead in the eye.)

A.J. Morales: OK...dude, this is some cornball shit. Cassius knows I wasn’t trying to aggravate his eye injury last time we fought. And I know he knows, because I helped him to the back and told him straight-up like five times in a row. So why can’t I just talk to him, man to man, challenger to champion? That’s all I want, man, I just wanna talk!

? ? : Ha-ha-haaaaa!

(A.J. looks up, searching for the source of that smug, arrogant laughter, and he quickly finds it. It’s Cassius Reed himself, a crown on his head, the Rebirth Championship belt in hand, looking down on A.J. from a balcony above.)

Cassius Reed: King Cassius don’t got time for you, lil’ Pepé Le Pew-lookin’-ass boy!

(A.J.’s expression turns more hostile by the second, especially once Cassius starts to make shooing gestures with his free hand.)

Cassius Reed: Go back with the revolting peasants where you belong, sucka! Go on then!

(The security guard folds his arms in front of his chest and gives A.J. a knowing, threatening look.)

Security Guard: You better get going, son. Don’t make me do it for you.

(A.J. takes one last look of daggers up at Cassius before turning his scowling gaze back on the guard.)

A.J. Morales: Well, since your boss ain’t listenin’, you tell him this...you tell him this is Captain Blondstreak’s ship, and he just gave me all the motivation I need to make sure everybody else walks the plank tonight. And as soon as I'm done with that, I'm gonna whoop his ass.

Security Guard: He won’t listen.

(A.J. turns his back on the suite.)

A.J. Morales: His loss.

(A.J. walks off, back into the crowd he hopes to celebrate with at the end of the night. Before the cameras can find him again, he’s already gone. The cameraman cuts over to another area of the crowd, who is hype for what awaits next. Dir En Grey’s “Toguro” starts to play as everyone buzzes in anticipation. The song’s opening rifts causes a good portion of the audience to become excited, as they are aware of one wrestler in particular that has used it for over a year. The feed cuts to another section of the crowd, which is even more loud and boisterous. A woman dressed in a ornate Spider-Gwen costume and mask can be seen walking through the crowd as the camera zooms in. The fans around her start to chant “NINA! NINA! NINA!” She slaps hands and fist bumps with many of the fans as she continues her descent. During the midst of her journey, she is handed a microphone.

She steps out of the crowd and starts to make her way to the ring, but she stops in her tracks. The woman turns on her heels and faces the crowd. Some more fans make their voices known. “STOKES! STOKES! STOKES!” She stands there and soaks things in for a moment or two before she lifts the microphone up. The crowd soon dies down and she is able to speak.)

Nina Stokes: Hey, hey! How’s it going?

(She pauses for speech for a second.)

Nina Stokes: Soooooooo, I guess yall know who I am, judging by the music.

(A good portion of the crowd once more makes their voices heard. The woman nods her head.)

Nina Stokes: And I’m fairly certain that the next question on the tip of your tongues is, “why the hell are you here?” And that’s an honest question. So, I’ll give yall an honest answer.

(She strolls about as she thinks about how to say what she needs to.)

Nina Stokes: I’ve been away from in-ring competition for about three to four months. But prior to that, I’d enjoyed an astonishing year in this great sport. First and foremost, I had the honor and privilege of holding the Hard Knox Wrestling Lionheart Championship for a recording setting total of three hundred and seventy-one days. I also set Lionheart record for most successful defenses. And yet, the fun didn’t stop there. I was given the opportunity to compete in Spirit and Pride’s first ever main event—my tag team won, by the way. And of course, I got the chance to compete in East Coast Wrestling Federation against two of the company’s mainstays. I defeated them as well. It was an amazing year in my career, in my life, and I’ll never forget it.

(She pauses for a moment as some of the fans cheer her once more.)

Nina Stokes: I fought through some injuries and a lot of pain during the course of my championship reign. I fought until my body literally said “I can’t take it any longer!” The name who ended my historic reign and finally defeated me for the HKW Lionheart Championship was DeMarcus Gresham. He’s a great friend. He’s a awesome father. And he’s one beast of a wrestler. Big Guy, it’s always love between you and me, so shout out to you.

Nina Stokes: I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to be stubborn after that match. As much as my heart was telling me to keep fighting and wrestling, I knew I needed to sound and logical. I had to listen to my body, and I had to take a small step back from this sport that I love. I had to rest; and rest I have.

(She nods her head as she continues to stroll around.)

Nina Stokes: But you know, a recurring theme kept popping up during my time away. Every once in awhile, I’d hear someone say that I was retired. And that word—retirement, it just doesn’t sit well with me.

(She snaps her fingers.)

Nina Stokes: I’ve done many great things in this sport; and yet, I still don’t feel like I’ve reached my final form.

(She pauses her speech as she twirls the microphone in her right hand for a moment.)

Nina Stokes: Which I guess brings us to tonight, yeah? You see, I recieved a call from the powers that be here a few weeks ago. And on that phone call I was made offer that was pretty difficult to turn down…

Nina Stokes: Am I prepared to make a full comeback? Not yet. Soon, but not yet.

(She holds up her left index finger.)

Nina Stokes: But competing at Boats N’ Throws? Getting the opportunity to work at Phoenix Wrestling, a promotion that is so deeply rooted in this sport? Well, I’d be a fool to pass that up. I owed it to myself and my career to come here tonight. One time won’t hurt, right?

(Some of the more spirited fans begin to cheer and chant the name of the promotion. She waits for them to die down a bit before she continues on.)

Nina Stokes: It goes without saying, but Phoenix Wrestling is home to some of the best wrestlers on the planet. And I’ll get the chance to mix it up with some of them tonight.

(She pauses for a quick second.)

Nina Stokes: You’ve got Aurora, one of the baddest women in professional wrestling. You’ve got Masaru, one of the most unique and stiffest men you’ll ever meet. You’ve got my cousin Sophie; she and I have made magic in the ring. Then there’s her wife Anastasia, A.J. Morales from XWA fame. The list goes on and on.

(She nods her head.)

Nina Stokes: Could you imagine me going on to win this whole shebang tonight? Going on to face Cassius Reed for the Rebirth Championship—that would be something, huh?

(There is a brief pause.)

Nina Stokes: I am fully aware that I haven’t wrestled in a few months. I’m aware that I’m nothing more than an outsider to most people here. And while I thoroughly appreciate your earnest cheers and reception, I also understand that most of you all don’t think I’ve got a chance in hell of winning…

(Her last comment threw some people off. Regardless, she presses onward.)

Nina Stokes: However, I’ve made a career out of defying the odds. I’ve made a career out of pulling off the seemingly impossible. So honestly, I kinda’ like my chances of pulling this match off tonight. That’s not arrogance speaking, just the way I feel.

(Most of the crowd comes back to her and reacts in positive manner as she tosses the microphone back to her right hand.)

Nina Stokes: But I suppose it’s time stop talking and simply go out there make the most this grand opportunity. Time to go out there and kill it, as usual.

(She lets out a small laugh before she gently tosses the microphone to a ring crew member. Nina gives a quick wave to the crowd before exiting the ring. Frisky D is out in the crowd watching Nina Stokes walk by, seemingly causing her to become contemplative as she's seen scratching her chin. The cameras pan in on Frisky and she snaps to attention after noticing them.)

FRISKY D: Huh, I thought she was hurt.

(She shrugs her shoulders as if to say 'oh well'.)

FRISKY D: Guess that shows what a big deal this uh, boatle royal is though, everyone wants in.

(Brushing a few stray hairs aside, she continues on.)

FRISKY D: I got my costume all ready for it, myself.

(She reaches down out of sight before pulling up a rather disturbing collection of fabric'.)

FRISKY D: It's the alien penis snake from Prometheus, figure I might as well get every edge I can, might be a few people in this who are a bit iffy about handling phalluses ... phalli?

(Eventually she sets the costume back down and gives up on trying to figure it out'.)

FRISKY D: You get my point, trying to throw someone out when handling them is basically like having to give a really public handjob. Anyways, not gonna lie, my head's been in a pretty weird place heading into this. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty pissed about the whole 'still attacking me after the bell' thing and am wanting some revenge. But realistically, this isn't the place to get it. I mean if I do, great, but you know ... a bunch of people on boats and I'm not gonna cost myself a chance at a title shot by taking my eye off the ball.

(A short nod of her head.)

FRISKY D: I'm feeling good about my chances if I can keep my head where it needs to be. Don't get me wrong, I think anyone trying to say they have an advantage in this type of match is lying given how unpredictable this is. Well, maybe Faith's uh--low center of gravity--helped her win it last year, but you get my point. This is different than even a normal battle royal, but I'm resourceful and I'm a survivor so I like my chances.

(Frisky shoots a thumbs up.)

FRISKY D: Point is, this is too huge for me to throw away like that-- no disrespect to any guests and the work they put in, but that Rebirth Title has to mean more to those of us who've been in the trenches here in PW trying to move towards it. And however this turns out, I'm gonna stay here in the trenches-- whether I struggle or not, when we've got stuff going on like Rebel getting put in the hospital I think we need the people who want to do stuff the right way to keep on doing that. So, since I'm not going anywhere, I figure I've got time for revenge.

(She paces in place for a bit before leaning back against a wall.)

FRISKY D: Might seem kind of petty not to just move forward, but hey if Sophie can keep getting her payback on me for winning a wrestling match over and over and over again, why not stick with it? But tonight, that's not something I can wait till next time on-- I need to make the most of it.

(Frisky flashes the peace sign as an indication she's done talking for now and we cut away, this time back to the ring. The old music of former PW Television Champion Tiffani Shore plays, Lady Gaga’s classic Paparazzi, much to the delight of some and chagrin of others. Tiffani herself comes down trailed by a most reluctant assistant in Hirooki Rajin, who is oddly enough dressed as Beetlejuice. Tiffani is dressed as Zombie Lady Gaga tonight, and her usual assistant Caroline is there handing out doll replicas of this Halloween look to fans in the front row.)

TIFFANI: Welcome Welcome Phoenix fans! All you lucky people in attendance tonight are getting all kinds of Halloween themed goodies straight from Tifficorp! How lucky are you all!

(There’s a bit of cheering because she’s hot, and some for the fact she’s giving away free stuff, though there’s more confusion than anything for a few minutes as she sets up her display of potential new Tifficorp! ™ products. There are of course the ubiquitous protein shakes and bars, some examples of their version of Spanx, and so on, as well as a full table of makeup and beauty products. Hirooki tries to stay away as far as possible but she waves him forward and starts spraying things on him with a wide smile.)

TIFFANI: All of the makeup that Hirooki is wearing tonight comes from our AGHAST colour palette, and you can see how above average the covering is! How lucky he is to be wearing some of these things here tonight!

(She literally fails to notice his sudden distress, almost as if he is being possessed on live TV - or being eaten alive by the costume, it’s truly hard to say, but when he hits the canvas with a thump she pauses and sighs loudly.)

TIFFANI: SOMEONE please come and retrieve my assistant I think he’s fainted.

(Hirooki is helped from the ring as Tiffani watches dispassionately then turns to smile at the unnerved fans.)

TIFFANI: It’s fine. I’m sure he’ll be just fine. Right as rain.

(She looks around and waves for Caroline to pass out more freebies and waves towards the curtain.)

TIFFANI: Anyhow, please welcome my husband, the King of Finland, the Fin-Isher and his brother, Twin-Isher, as they have a very special live performance for all you lucky fans here tonight!!

(She gets Caroline to help her clear the ring as they wait for Fin and Twin.)

[Slaine Rodrick]

As Fin and Twin clear the stage, the camera shifts upward, seeing two shadows in the sky. They swirl around a few times before diving onto the stage. On one end, Anastasia Starling rises up, sweeping her hair out of her face. A maroon body suit hugged her every curve, but the dark color finds its contrast in the bright yellow phoenix fashioned on her chest. Furthermore, she wears matching yellow gloves that ride up to her biceps. Dark Phoenix is her costume choice for the night, the harrowing figure that distorted the Marvel Universe. On her left, to who she stares at with loving, mismatched eyes, is her wife. Sophie crouches on the ground, slowly bringing herself to her full stance, which almost towers over Anastasia. Falling on her sides is a long similarly red cape. A red leotard, long lavender pink tights, and a shining red headpiece make up Sophie’s costume. It’s fairly easy to note that Sophie’s dressed up as Scarlet Witch. She gives Anastasia a quick once over, smiling at her softly.

SOPHIE EL: “We have arrived; the two most destructive forces to be in this match.”

Sophie elicits a giggle.

SOPHIE EL: “Well, maybe outside of dear Aurora, she’s pretty strong.”

Her sweet mood sours in the same sentence.

SOPHIE EL: “Once she’s eliminated, then who shall stand in our way? Arriving in such style is only a prelude to the dominance we will act out tonight. The end of which will be one of us punching our ticket to what we both want.”

Ana looks upon her wife with a sly smile upon her face, brushing her newly coloured crimson hair from her face, peering out into the adoring audience with a giddy look upon her face.

ANASTASIA STARLING: “Last year… last year I competed in this Boatle Royale, gaining a respectable third place, though it took the effort of two to eliminate me. Last year I came here on a new adventure, alone in the dark with no one by my side. No allies, no friends, and I stepped into the fire surrounded by water and unable to swim. I came close, so, so close. But this year… this year I am entering this and I am not alone.”

Starling smiles adoringly at her beautiful wife but staring out into the crowd once more.

ANASTASIA STARLING: “Together, in my honest opinion, there is not a duo within this company that can match us when we are working together. If you want to take that as an insult, you really shouldn’t. Take that as a challenge to see if you can prove my words wrong. Because together we are unbreakable. Together we are unstoppable. And together, you are looking at the final two in this Boatle Royale.”

Starling gazes out into the audience, clutching her Rising Phoenix title, the belt she has held a death grip on for the better part of a year.

ANASTASIA STARLING: “We have a point to prove tonight, and that point we will prove. And I do hope a certain someone is watching, and I hope they understand what is coming for them. Because if they try and dismiss what is to come again, it will be the biggest mistake of their career.”

Sophie turns to her wife and takes her face in her hands.

SOPHIE EL: “Will they come in an army to stop us, my love? Is that our challenge here? With people mysteriously trickling into shock and the people poised to be our enemies, we’re in for quite a night. No matter what it’ll be worthwhile. At the end of the night, one of us will be able to celebrate a win.”

Sophie feigns surprise, as she comes to a realization.

SOPHIE EL: “Oh no, if one of us wins, then we both get to celebrate. Lucky us.”

SOPHIE EL: “Let us go and conquer them all, Ana. Everything is lined up for us after all.”

(She leans in and gives Anastasia a long kiss before breaking it off with a “mwah” behind it. From the ring to the backstage lounge area we see new PW wrestler Kelli Torres. Dressed in her Halloween costume. Her face painted as Skeletor looks on as she watches Anastasia and Sophie. Kelli says nothing as just watches on. Kelli sips on some pineapple juice thru a straw as to not mess up her dark make that is painted on her lips. )

Kelli: Cute, so these two like everyone else thinks they're gonna win this thing. They know it’s only one winner, in fact since I’m the one with no name cred in this company… what better way than to be the one to tosses them both out. There two of the bigger names in PW. Fact is, everyone is a bigger name than me.

(Kelli smirks a bit even the costume it gives off a really scary look.)

Kelli: Truth is, I walk in this match alone, in a few minutes I get to show everyone, not just by potential, but just how great I am. Why sit here and go thru the list of things I have done when I can just show you all what I am capable of.

(Kelli smiles but with the costume, it comes off a bit evil...The sound of a door heard as Kelli turns to her left. Toast pops his head in.)

Toast: You got three minutes.

(Kelli nods before she turns to the camera for the first time.)

Kelli: Number 1? It’s like the company is already aware of my greatness for me to be number 1 in my debut. Being number one is not a problem, it just means the fans of Phoenix Wrestling get to see me that much longer than the rest of the roster. Let everyone out there know that I am that big of a deal. The bosses who run this place know it, Now you fans get to see it first hand. Well three minutes isn’t much time to address the live crowd but hey, it’s my debut and I can’t expect them to feed me more air time then what I’m already getting. Number 1… haha not a problem.

(Kelli tosses her pineapples juice in the trash can as she exits the lounge area. The camera goes to follow her.)

Kelli: I know the camera loves me but I’m sure there’s someone else you can go see while I go out there and prove to everyone why I am number 1.

(Cameras cut back to ringside where Slaine Rodrick is seen in the middle of the ring once again, just like at the start of the show, but this time with a much better expression on his face. As the crowd noise amped up, it was about that time to get things really started and there was Slaine, ready to make it known.)

SLAINE RODRICK: Alright Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s now time for the party to begin! The 2017 “Boats N’ Throws” Battle Royale is NOW!!!

(Slaine points up to the sky as everyone’s eyes followed his pointing direction to the Drone flying mid-air above the ring. A lot of Oooh’s and Ahh’s reigned as the Boats N Throws Drone from last year was making it’s second appearance in a row to capture all the would-be action from a bird's-eye perspective.)

SLAINE RODRICK: Since it was praised as a great feature last year for those who watched the stream last year and gained a bird's-eye view of all the intense action and eliminations, it was only right to bring it back for this year’s event that is promised to be even more insane!

(A nod of his head as cheers were heard.)

SLAINE RODRICK: Before I leave this ring, I must give the rundown of how things go in this event. It will start off with the first two entrants. Another entrant makes their way out every three minutes and as you should know, the only way to be eliminated is over the boat. That’s all! Good luck to all the competitors this year, now let the fun begin, folks!

(Slaine waves off to the crowd in attendance as he again leaves the ring to a lot of pops from the crowd cheering as the match was officially about to begin.)

RODZ: Strap yourself in tight, Alpine. It’s about to be one rocky-ass ride!

ALPINE: Time to see what the hell happens this time around!

[Slaine Rodrick]

ALPINE: It’s finally time folks for a costumed, twenty person, over the top battle royal on one of the largest yachts in Arizona!!

RODZ: So glad Slaine kept this party boat. Saved on hotel room fees, been getting drunk for free, and I get to pee over the balcony!

ALPINE: I don’t know why Slaine would let you stay in one of his guest cabins when you are a notorious bed wetter.

RODZ: Allegedly. I’m telling you, I slept with a squirting hooker the night before in that bed.

ALPINE: ANYWAYS tonight we have an even mix of some of the most talented veterans and rising prospects in all of wrestling battling it out for a shot at Cassius’s Rebirth Championship. Winner is the last person standing.

RODZ: You forgot to mention Freddy that not only is this a costumed battle royal, it’s a costumed battle royal with WEAPONS. Can’t have a good costume without an accessory.

ALPINE: That is true to some extent. To come out with a sword like Masaru did last year is a different story.

RODZ: He was a samurai warrior, he was going for authenticity.

ALPINE: As that may be, he could have very well killed somebody. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen tonight. Starting things off as we just saw is PW newcomer Kelli Torres, who drew the number one slot.

RODZ: Tough pick for the latina cutie. First match in PW, first slot in a shark tank match like this. Time to see if that background is legit.

ALPINE: What Johnny means is Kelli has trained in MMA before training in pro wrestling. This marks her first Phoenix match along with another newcomer in Ashton Roberts, who is also a pro wrestler with MMA training.

RODZ: These kids signed with the best company. No one mixes MMA and pro wrestling better than Phoenix.

ALPINE: Amen to that. She’s been an enthusiastic signing, doing radio interviews and assorted prep work, along with training for her big debut. Really looking forward to how she does in a situation like this.

RODZ: I’ve never seen her wrestle, but she looks hot even in skeletor makeup so she’s got my vote.

(We go from the commentary booth to Lenne Hardt standing in the ring. She’s wearing a Wonder Woman costume like the other 584 million women wearing that costume tonight. The crowd cheers upon seeing her as she tosses her long curly red hair over her shoulder.)

HARDT: Welcome everyone…..to the 2017 Boats N’ Throws BOOOOOOAAAAAATTTTTTLLLLLEEEEEE RRRRRROOOOOYYYYYYAAAAALLLLLEEEE!!!!

(Upon the cue of her voice a small fireworks display goes off, highlighting a misshapen, smiling pumpkin floating in the sky. The fans settle a little, and the first theme of the night plays. ‘Yo Tango El Don’ by La Liga ft. Alika plays over the PA, getting the fans bouncing to the beat but not really cheering as the song is unknown to them. Then through the crowd drifts a spotlight, showing a fit woman in black ‘Phoenix’ fight gear heading to the ring.)

HARDT: Making her way to the ring, weighing in tonight at 125 pounds….she is making her Phoenix Wrestling debut….’SKELETOR’ KELLLLLLLIIII TOORRRRRRRRRRRRREESSSSS!!!!

ALPINE: While it is allowed for a wrestler to bring a weapon to the ring, it looks like Kelli is going barefisted in this prop fight.

RODZ: MMA fighters bill themselves as walking weapons. Time to put up or shut up.

(Her face is decorated corpse style, getting the crowd cheering for her as she gets closer to the ring. She throws a small combo then hops up on the apron, swings through the ropes, and heads to the center of the ring. She raises her fists to the crowd, getting an additional cheer before she heads to an empty corner. Once there she pulls out her skull teeth mouthpiece, slips it in, then hunches down in preparation for her opponent. Her music comes to a silence, and ‘Renegade Cavalcade’ by Ash fills that void. The crowd gets a lot louder for the established favorite Chris Andrew, especially when they see him dressed like Zack Morris and talking to someone very important on his giant cellphone. Seriously it’s a comically big cellphone a third of Andrew’s size. He has to go through the crowd sideways or else he’d knock over fans.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in tonight at 204 pounds….’SAVED BY THE BELL’ CHRRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSS AAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDRRRREEEEWWWWWW!!!!

ALPINE: Okay. I understand a prop but this is just ridiculous.

RODZ: Ridiculously smart. Oversized hard plastic kid toys are deceptively dangerous.

(Once near the ring he puts a hold on his fake call, slides his giant phone in the ring, then slides in after it. Oz Oxford Jr. tries to kick the phone out only for Chris to say “HEY!! I’M ON HOLD AND IT’S ON SPEAKERPHONE!!!” Oz looks at the giant phone, looks at the absurd look on Chris’s face, and says screw it let him have it. However as soon as Chris goes to pick up his giant phone, Kelli Torres is ready for him with a big running kick to the chest! Chris grabs his chest to the “OHHH!!!”s of the crowd as the bell rings.)

DING DING DING!!!

ALPINE: Is Chris really going to wrestle this whole match while the call is on speaker?

RODZ: Well, for as long as Kelli lets him. Battle royals tend to be short, unpredictable affairs.

ALPINE: Story of your life huh Johnny?

RODZ: You know me too well Alpo.

(Kelli then starts nailing Chris with forearms as his back is against the ropes. He tries to counter with a forearm of his own, she ducks, shoulders him in the gut, and comes up with a big counter knee strike!!! “OHHH!!!”s from the fans as the shot splits his orange rimmed sunglasses in half and leaves him rocked! Kelli’s a little shocked about landing the clean blow, but quickly gains her senses and goes to trying to toss Chris Andrew over the top rope!! Immediately he clings full body grapevine to the top rope as his brain clears the cobwebs out. Since she can’t rip him off, she hits the opposite ropes to try to knock him off. Just as she comes back with a big boot he unravels and drops, allowing her long leg to drift over the top rope and leave her temporarily caught!! The crowd are on their feet as Chris slides under the ropes and pops up on the apron. He then races to the nearest turnbuckle, climbs to the top, then springs off with a crossbody, sending Kelli falling to the mat!! Chris then goes to pick her up, but takes too long and she makes the most of it, taking Chris to the mat with a double leg takedown! She starts trying to work her way to guard but Chris uses his strength to block and prop his legs up and under. He then shoots her up and over with a monkey flip, sending her flipping out of his grasp and falling back first onto his giant cellphone keypad!! There’s a loud pop and spark, followed by a trail of smoke as the crowd cheers and Chris freaks out. He screams at Kelli “I WAS ON HOLD!!!” to which she shrugs her shoulders. Her perceived inconsideration causes Chris to rush her, to which she acts quickly with a drop toe hold then moves over to an armbar! Just as she locks it in, the Phoenix drone flutters right above the ring. So begins the crowd assisted countdown…)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(An air horn is heard, followed by a short silence. We then hear over the microphone an acapella version of ‘Nice Work If You Can Get It’ by Frankie Starlight, bringing on the boos of the crowd. He comes swinging through on the middle deck, shoving people out of his way as he sings his way to the balcony overlooking the ring. Instead of the spotlight focusing on him though, it focuses to the crowd on the lower deck. Specifically a bald middle aged shirtless man making his way through the crowd with intensity. A camera shows Tony Tira just as he pops in his Italian flag mouthguard.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring….weighing in tonight at 206 pounds….he is the leader of the Collective….TONNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYY TIIIIIIIRRRRRRRAAAAA!!!

ALPINE: Well if Kelli wanted a smooth transition from MMA to pro wrestling, forget about it with Tony Tira. This man is interested in one thing and one thing only, a striking contest.

RODZ: One of these days he just needs to accept grappling is an unfortunately gay aspect of the industry you have to get used to. He’ll be a lot happier once he gets out of the closet.

(Tony climbs up the ring steps, swings through the ropes, and immediately goes for the two wrestlers in the center of the ring. Frankie stops singing, but not before saying “KICK THEIR ASS TONY!!!” Kelli sees him coming and springs to her feet, quickly rushing Tony for a takedown just as he goes to rip her off. However she finds that Tony’s sprawl is quite strong as he easily holds off her 125 pound frame, pushes her forward, and cracks her chin with an uppercut that sends her on her ass!! Tony smiles, kisses his fist, and runs for a fist of death to the stunned Kelli. Chris has other plans though and springs to his feet with a big dropkick from the side that sends Tony spilling over into a corner!! Chris then runs in with a dropkick to the gut, getting him to drop to his butt. Chris then runs out, grits his teeth, and runs in for a hard cannonball that leaves Tony dangling over the bottom rope!! “OHHH!!!”s from the audience as Chris picks himself up and goes right for the stunned Kelli. He picks her up by her head, hooks her for a suplex, and positions her over the broken oversized phone. However he takes too long to set it up, allowing Kelli to recover and sweep Chris up and down with a spinebuster on the phone!! Another spark pops from the phone, leaving Oz Oxford Jr. the opportunity to remove the giant trip hazard from the ring and leave it clattering by the timekeeper’s table. Kelli picks herself up just as Tony is picking himself out of the corner. She raises her fists to him, which gets him laughing and gets the crowd cheering. Tony nods, says “ALRIGHT!!” and meets her in the center of the ring. Just as the two start circling, the drone clock starts ticking. The two are temporarily distracted by it, but go back to their rounding staredown.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(An air horn sounds off, followed by ‘Nightlight’ by the Silversun Pickups. The crowd erupts as a spotlight shines down on half of Hell Is Waiting making their way through the crowd. As he does you can see fans make way for some odd reason. You can see why as we get an up close on him. His costume can only be described as Swamp Thing if you dipped him in glue then loose shrapnel.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 190 pounds….he is ‘THE METAL FETISHIST’....ONE HALF OF HELL IS WAITING AND THE DUOS CHAMPIONS….MMAAAAAASSSSSSSSAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUU IIINNNNNNNOOOOOUUUUUEEEEEE!!!

RODZ: What the fuck is Masaru wearing? He looks like Edward Scissorhands if he got raped from the tree from Evil Dead then tossed in molten steel.

ALPINE: I’m a little rusty on my horror but I believe that’s Tetsuo The Iron Man.

RODZ: Forget about the relevancy, that is one dangerously sharp costume. He is covered in razor shrapnel from head to toe.

ALPINE: God help those in the ring.

(The two circling fighters can’t help but look over into those red Terminator contacts of Masaru as he steps onto the apron wide eyed and ready for combat. We cut away from the action to a skybox shot of Aurora and her husband Legacy smiling as they see Masaru scare the crap out of Chris.)

ALPINE: And there we get a shot of the other half of the Duos Champs and Hell Is Waiting, Aurora. Joining her tonight is one of the most decorated big men in the business, her husband Legacy. Solid choice on the costumes, Aurora is Lady Sylvanas Windrunner, Legacy is the Lich King Arthas Menethril.

RODZ: Who?

ALPINE: World of Warcraft characters.

RODZ: I’d say that’s nerdy but those cosplay fools usually roll with crazy weapons. So I’ll say in this situation pretty cool.

(Kelli is a little bit more distracted, and this leads to Tony sneaking in a jab, followed by a rushing combo that sends Kelli backpedaling to the corner! Chris is rising with a hand to his sore back and comes eye to eye with Masaru as he steps through the ropes. Chris takes a deep breath then steps forward to Masaru with his fists raised. Meanwhile Tony swings for a wild backfist but Kelly ducks, sweeps low, and shows off her strength with a rotating release backdrop that sends Tony to the canvas!! She then leaps into guard and doesn’t give Tony a second to breathe as she brings down the hard forearms. Tony covers up as Chris starts going for leg and chest kicks, the only vulnerable spots on Masaru besides his head. Masaru blocks one of the chest kicks with a hard forearm, slicing a tear through Chris’s stonewashed jeans. Chris grits his teeth and backs up, strategizing a new plan as Kelli finally sneaks her way through Tony’s guard and snatches for a gogoplata! She hooks the head, then rolls over onto her back as Tony wriggles in her grasp, trying to escape! However the match is still fresh, and it’s breezy this evening, making it harder to form sweat. Kelli sinks the hold tighter, clamping down on Tony as the fight slowly drains from him. Finally he goes limp, leaving Kelli to release and leave the passed out Tony laying in the center of ring! She smiles down at her work, then looks over to see the pressuring Masaru cornering Chris. She runs forward with a big kick to Masaru’s back, shoving him into Chris and causing Chris to scream out as he’s unintentionally Iron Maidened!! Masaru backs away from the corner holding his spine as Chris collapses on all fours, bleeding from his chest, stomach, and arms. Kelli looks to a crouched over Masaru, but is distracted as the drone comes to life again.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(With the sound of an air horn we get the usual silence. Then we get ‘Monster’ by Stitched Up Heart to a decent reaction from the crowd. A spotlight shines down through the audience, showing Faith in a clunkier outfit than usual. A zoom in from the camera reveals her wearing full on knight armor, sans the helmet to show off her pretty pissed off face.)

HARDT: Making her way to the ring, weighing in at 135 pounds….She is the 2016 Boats N’ Throws winner….’JOAN OF ARC’ FAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTTTHHHHH!!!!!

ALPINE: Faith seems to have had a similar idea to Masaru. Find an outfit that will make it difficult to be thrown over. A heavy metal knight outfit does the trick.

RODZ: It’s also gonna make her clunky as shit. She relies on her speed and now won’t have that.

ALPINE: No. But she does have the element of surprise and her partner Chris in the ring, so I like her chances.

(Faith slams her way up the steps, then enters through the ropes. Kelli shakes her head at the weird costume then goes to give Masaru a leg kick. However he checks her with perfect timing, causing her ankle to slam into a steel grapevine on Maz’s knee!! “OHHHH!!!”s from the crowd as Kelli hops on one leg, now leaving Faith to shake her head. She surprises Kelli with a kick to the affected shin, then she cracks Masaru to the mat with a slow, but effective leg kick!! Cheers from the crowd as Faith waves for Masaru to stand and battle it out with her, metal on metal. By this point Chris is starting to recover from getting smashed and picks himself up with the aide of the ropes to see Kelli hopping on one foot. Being she’s the reason for his multiple torso wounds, Chris grits his teeth and runs right at the side of Kelli Torres, catching her on the temple with trademark spinning roundhouse kick!! A mix of “OHHH!!!”s and “HOLY SHIT!!!”s hit the audience as Kelli drops to the mat, covering the back of her head and kicking. He then looks over to see Faith absorbing Masaru’s kicks, then firing back with a teep kick which lifts Masaru off of his feet and sends his back smacking into the corner! Chris goes up to Faith and gives her a high five, then helps her out with that double team as he rushes in with a leaping forearm to the exposed jaw of Masaru!! Maz takes a couple steps out of the corner, then face flops to the cheers and laughs of the audience. Faith and Chris look to each other, then look out across the ring for any competition. Just waking up from his nap is Tony Tira, and that brings a smile to their face. Faith stands behind him, and Chris stands in front. Just as the light starts to flicker on in Tony, the countdown starts for the next competitor.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(There’s the sound of an air horn then we hear the chattering of the crowd. Soon after ‘Machine Gun’ by Portishead plays, bringing on a loud mixed reaction for Sophie as she makes her way through the crowd. A spotlight shines down on her, revealing a red and black outfit with a long flowing red coat and a red headpiece.)

HARDT: Making her way to the ring….weighing in at 153 pounds….She is the ‘SCARLETT WITCH’ SOPPPPPPHHHHHIIIIIEEEEEEE ELLLLLLLL!!!!!

ALPINE: Sophie El is partaking as the Scarlett Witch this Halloween, nice choice.

RODZ: I’d ask if she’d partake on my broomstick but she would more than likely gorilla throw me off the yacht.

(Sophie works her way to the ring, slides underneath, then pops up and removes her long coat. She tosses it over the top rope as her theme silences. She looks to Chris and Faith ping ponging Tony with strikes and lets them be. Instead she focuses on Masaru as he starts to push himself up to his feet. She ducks down, scouting him for a move as he recovers. Just as he stands she comes flying forward with the Red Javelin, but Masaru is able to duck, low blow Sophie to “OHHH!!!”s, then shoulder check her in the face with his shrapnel shoulder!! A gash opens up on Sophie’s cheek, bringing on another “HOLY SHIT!!!” chant as Sophie checks her bleeding cheek in shock. Masaru grabs her by her hair and this snaps her out of it, coming up with a rising european uppercut that knocks him back! She follows with three more, getting “OHHH!!!”s from the crowd with each one, then sending him flipping as she rushes in with a Death Dealer!! Both collapse to the mat almost in unison with Tony Tira as Chris and Faith end their 26 hit combo with Faith slamming a hard steel forearm across the back of Tony’s head. He drops to the mat and covers up just as Kelli recovers from that brutal spinning roundhouse from Chris earlier. Chris gets another high five from Faith, but this leaves him distracted and allows Kelli to rush in with an on point flying knee to the chin!! A blood fountain spews from Chris’s mouth as he drops to his knees. Faith screams and swings at Kelli, but Kelli easily dodges the hefty blow and goes for a head kick. Faith blocks the shot with her steel arm, causing Kelli to hop on one leg again. Faith hits the ropes and comes back with a big body splash, which sends Kelli flying! The ropes are her only saving grace from the water with her snatching the bottom rope as the drone starts it’s countdown.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(An air horn sounds, and we await the next competitor’s theme. Suddenly ‘You’re The Best’ by Joe Esposito plays, which instantly brings on the cheers. A spotlight shines on a giant figure working it’s way through the crowd. A zoom in reveals Twin-Nisher wearing a giant taco costume and looking incredibly focused.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 235 pounds….he is the self proclaimed best kickboxer from Finland…..’THE TACO’ THE TWIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN-NNNNNNIIIISSSSSSHHHHHEEEEERRRRR!!!!!

RODZ: A taco. This guy is coming to the ring as a fucking taco.

ALPINE: Well with how other opponents are going for outfits that make it hard for them to touch, maybe Twin is going for the ‘make it hard for them to hurt him’ costume?

RODZ: He’s already nerve dead and brain dead. It’s nearly impossible to hurt him.

(Twin high fives the fans on the way to the ring, then looks up to the difficult task of getting into the ring. As he decides the best point of entry, Sophie is just starting to recover and picks up a dizzy Masaru from behind. He goes for a jagged back elbow, but she ducks and makes him pay for it with a german suplex!! “OHHH!!!”s from the crowd as she swoops him back up for another, crashing him to the mat!! One more for the road as she swoops back up again, this time german releasing Maz into the turnbuckle pads!! “OHHH!!”s from the audience as Masaru slumps, really wishing at this point that he had made his back spikey. Sophie walks in cautiously, trying not get sliced anymore near her genitals. Meanwhile Faith is mounting Kelli, preparing to give her some metal ground and pound. Tony and Chris are still recovering, one from getting clubbed in the back of the head and the other from having a flying knee bash his tooth through his lip. Seeing as the opportunity is his to seize, Twin claps his hands and flip flops over the top rope as he can’t enter through or under it. Once he eventually makes it to his feet, he sees a steel covered Faith mauling Kelli in front of him. Her forearms are covered with bruises, and Twin puts a stop to that by delivering a big axe kick down on Faith’s scalp, dropping her to the side of the mat! Twin then goes to help up Kelli, whose arms are shaking from the trauma of being bludgeoned by arm hammers. However she doesn’t get any symphony from Chris who gets to his feet, yanks her away from Twin, and plants her into the mat with the Dr. Pepper Special!! Boos from the crowd as Twin starts bringing the fists to Chris immediately, knocking him back to the ropes. It’s at this point the drone comes out to play, dropping those digital orange numbers.)

5…..

4…..

3…..

2….

1….

(The air horn sounds, leaving fans and spectators on the London Bridge in the distance to overlook what’s going down on this crazy large converted yacht. Lightbulbs flash as the ship nears closer, bringing on the next theme. ‘Nobodys Listening’ (Green Lantern Mix) by Linkin Park plays, bringing on a good amount of cheers for the outside talent. A green spotlight shines down through the crowd, and as soon the crowd clears we see AJ Morales dressed as the Green Lantern. He’s patted on the back by fans, which brings us to a quick cutaway of King Cassius scoffing and shaking his head at AJ.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 187 pounds….he is the current XWA Hardcore Champion…’THE GREEN LANTERN’ A….J…….MORRRRRRRAAAAAAALLLLLLEEESSSSSSSS!!!!

ALPINE: It seems King Cassius does not approve of AJ’s costume choice.

RODZ: I think it’s more so he doesn’t approve of a peasant like AJ challenging for his throne.

ALPINE: Well if anyone should, it’s this man. He defeated Cassius Reed earlier this year in the XWA Lord of the Ring Tournament.

RODZ: Fluke victory. He’s a brave man for competing for such an impossible task.

(AJ races up the steps and swings into the ring just as Sophie is finding a way to pick up Masaru without cutting herself. However as soon as Masaru’s red eyes see that London Bridge on the horizon, he belly flops to the mat, rolls out towards the crowd, and leaps up to snatch the middle tier balcony railing!! Fans are freaking out as the metal weirdo scrambles up to the middle tier and races through the double doors to the cabins.)

ALPINE: And just like that Masaru has left the match! As soon as AJ entered the ring, Masaru rocketed out!

RODZ: Wow do people really fear this guy over that one fluke victory?

ALPINE: I don’t think it was AJ that caused him to leave. Keep in mind he went under the ropes, not over the ropes, so he is still in this match.

(Sophie scratches her head at Maz’s actions, but AJ doesn’t give her much time to think as he comes right at her with an El DiaBlade! The shot catches Sophie off guard, leaving AJ to quickly follow up with a springboard moonsault off the second rope!! He flexes to the crowd in this comic book face off as Tira fully recovers to see Twin surprisingly holding his own with a battle worn Chris Andrew in a striking contest. Ever the opportunist, Tony rushes in with a big hook to the ribs as Twin gets him in a muay thai clinch, dropping Chris to the mat with a face etched in pain!! “OHHH”s from the crowd as Tony turns his attention to Twin, laughs at his costume, then starts throwing jabs his way. Meanwhile Faith is recovering from the axe kick to the scalp and is pulling herself to her feet just as Kelli is using her shaky legs and arms to pull on the ropes to stand. AJ does his best to keep the dangerous Sophie grounded as he locks in armbar, hoping this will keep her immobilized. He soon finds out that’s not a good move as Sophie haunches up, grunts, then deadlift suplexes AJ off the mat, breaking the armbar to a “HOLY SHIT!!” for that feat of strength! The two recover on the mat as Tony catches Twin-Nisher with a clean right hook, sending him dangling over the ropes! Sensing an elimination, Tony rushes in to toss out Twin! However his taco costume is making it a little difficult. Not too mention Twin is dry heaving. Which judging by his song earlier is not a good sign. It’s at that point the drone comes back out, bringing with it drunken chanting Havasuians.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(The air horn sounds, and we get a little longer of a silence than usual. Music doesn’t break the silence though, just the velvety voice of Frankie Starlight. He makes his way through the crowd under a spotlight, singing ‘Nice Work If You Can Get It’ by Frank Sinatra. Periodically he stops to curse at people or flip them off, then continues his rendition.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 175 pounds...he is the songbird of the Collective….FRRRRRAAANNNNKKKKKKIIIIIEEEEEEE STTTTTTTAAAARRRRRLLLLLIIIIGGGGGHHHTTTTTT!!!

ALPINE: Frankie isn’t that bad of a singer. Too bad he’s a terrible person.

RODZ: Too bad he’s about to be upstaged by a metal maniac.

ALPINE: What?

(Rodz points to the top of the yacht where King Cassius’s throne subsides. Climbing up the railing is Masaru Inoue, which gets Cassius to react loudly. Instead of attacking Cassius though, he looks back, positions himself, then springs off the top of the yacht railing onto the bottom ledge of the bridge as the yacht passes under the London Bridge!! A camera angle shows Masaru scrambling up the side of the bridge, getting people on the bridge to panic and scatter as he climbs up up over the railing. He then races to the other side, leaving freaked folks turning their cellphone cameras to him.)

ALPINE: I can’t believe it folks...Masaru just leapt off the top of the yacht onto the London Bridge...and is now running across it!!

RODZ: This yacht just BARELY made it under the bridge. Poor King Cassius had to gently tuck his head down.

(Masaru goes to the other side of the bridge and climbs over railing. He waits a few seconds as the boat passes under, and takes a deep breath. With perfect timing he does a twenty foot drop, falling out of the sky and crashing into the backs of the distracted Tony Tira and Twin-Nisher! That shot loosens up Twin, bringing on his dreaded ‘sea sickness’. The thunderbolt impact of Masaru’s split dropkick sends Tira and Twin flying over the top rope, with Twin cascading Tira in vomit in mid-air!! Fans scream “EWWWW!!!” at the spectacle, but still take pictures of the two getting some serious hang time before making big splashes in the water!!!)

HARDT: Tony Tira and Twin-Nisher HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

ALPINE: GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY THAT WAS AN UNBELIEVABLY DANGEROUS DROPKICK!!

RODZ: IT WAS SO HARD HE MADE TWIN PUKE ON TONY!! Big ups Maz, you outdid yourself from last year!!

ALPINE: With that double elimination that brings it down to Masaru Inoue, Chris Andrew, Faith, Kelli Torres, Sophie El, AJ Morales, and Frankie Starlight.

(The “HOLY SHIT!!!” chants on the ship are deafening. Frankie looks pissed with that elimination, and immediately targets Masaru as he lays on the mat with the wind knocked out of him from that stupidly dangerous stunt. He helps him with his lack of breathing by running up and mushroom stomping him in the chest, bringing on the drowning boos of the crowd. As Frankie looks down at the squirming Masaru in satisfaction, Sophie picks up AJ and takes him over to a corner. She tries to use her strength to throw him over, and right away AJ latches on as he’s quickly learned this woman is beastly strong. Meanwhile a brave and bruised up Kelli squares up with Faith, who shakes her head at the quivering, face paint smeared rookie and raises her fists as well. The crowd can’t help but get a “LETS GO KELLI!!!” chant to get the fight back in her. Chris Andrew starts to pick himself up from that hard rib shot, but it’s much to his chagrin as he gets in the sights of Frankie Starlight. The fresh Frankie darts at Chris and plants him in the chest with a shotgun dropkick, driving him to the corner and right back to the mat!! Frankie starts talking smack to the man he put on the shelf for three months, pity kicking Chris in the chin as he does so. Meanwhile Sophie is getting tired of trying to shove over the resilient AJ, and decides instead to rip him off of the ropes! She then gets in a deep hug, ducks down, and tosses him with a big overhead belly to belly suplex! Somehow though AJ lands on his feet, hits the ropes, ducks a Death Dealer on the return, hits the opposite ropes, and counters another Death Dealer attempt with a perfectly timed 94’ Blitz!!! “OHHH!!!”s from the fans as AJ gets a brief moment in the moonlight before that damn drone takes his shine.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(The air horn sounds, and all is quiet. Then ‘Cold’ by Static X hits, and fans cheer loudly for the lady making her way down under a purple spotlight. The camera zooms in to reveal Aurora dressed in a scantily clad medieval costume, making her way to ringside carrying a giant bow.)

HARDT: Making her way to the ring, weighing in at 145 pounds...She is one half of the Duos Champions and Hell Is Waiting…..’LADY SYLVANAS WINDRUNNER’ AAAAAAAAAUUUUUURRRRRRRRROOOOOORRRRRRRRAAAAAAA!!!!

ALPINE: Oh my. Hell Is Waiting is now unified together in the ring, and that can’t be a good thing for the rest of the field.

RODZ: Considering most of them are beat up, bloody zombies and Aurora is fresh and wielding a big weapon? Yup they’re all fucked.

(Aurora takes her time getting to the ring, surveying the action going on inside. Kelli is cautiously striking with Faith, doing her best not to get any of her shots painfully checked. Frankie is picking up a worn Chris Andrew and placing him in the corner. From there he starts smashing some hard shoulder shots into the injured ribs of Chris. AJ is picking himself up from the Blitz earlier and scouting Sophie from behind. And her dear Masaru is by the ropes picking himself up wearily, breathing hard and still trying to get his wind back. Aurora takes a deep breath and steps into the ring, helping her beaten partner to his feet. Once on his feet, Masaru looks up to that evil smirk of Auroras as she looks ahead to Frankie Starlight punishing the ribs of Chris Andrew. She walks up with her giant bow and arrow and hooks it around Frankie’s neck, causing him to spaz out. Before he can do anything she pulls him right into a snap inverted DDT, putting him to canvas. Aurora stands up, looks to Maz with a smile, then the two start to beat the shit out of Frankie Starlight! Stomps from Masaru and bow shots to the face, head, chest, and back cause Frankie to scamper for the ropes. Aurora stops that by pulling his neck back with the bow to the center of the ring, and locking in a bow assisted camel clutch! As he suffers AJ goes for a super kick, only for Sophie to catch it. Before she can ragdoll him AJ steps in, then does an inverted enziguri, knocking Sophie to the mat! Kelli meanwhile is doing her best to tire out Faith, dodging her heavy shots and picking a punch to the face here and there. As the wrestlers in the ring do battle, two coast guard boats pull up nearby Slaine’s yacht. Fans are so distracted about the coast guard that they don’t notice the drone floating over the ring. The countdown in the crowd starts slow but picks up at three.)

ALPINE: So the Coast Guard is here. I guess Slaine is taking that Rebel attack seriously.

RODZ: Which means that whoever did it is in this rumble, right now. 100 bucks of Frankie!

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(The air horn sounds, and the instrumental track to ‘Nice Work If You Can Get It’ by Frank Sinatra plays. Usually it would be Frankie Starlight walking out to sing that but he’s currently being blue faced strangled by Aurora.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 315 pounds….he is the muscle of the Collective….GGGGGGGGEEEEEEENNNNOOOOOO ‘FOOOORRKKKKKLLLLIIIFFFTTTT’ FFFFOOOOOORRRRRRRRRLLIIITTTTTIIIII!!!!

ALPINE: Frankie, your angel has arrived!

RODZ: Now here comes a legitimate threat in this rumble. He is the biggest competitor at 6’7 and 315 pounds of retard muscle. Not gonna be an easy one to throw out.

(Even though Geno is a quite slow, lumbering fellow, he steps over the top rope quickly and drives a running big boot into Masaru’s face, knocking him into a free corner! Aurora removes the bow from under Frankie’s neck and swings for Geno’s kneecap, but the graceful big man dodges the shot. He then snatches the bow out of her hands and tosses it aside, nearly throwing it into the water. As the two prepare to battle AJ once again scouts Sophie, crouching down for possibly the Liberator. The resilient Sophie pushes to a stand, immediately ducks the attempt, and swoops AJ onto her shoulders! Chris, who’s still recovering from rib damage sees Sophie and AJ charging his way. As much as he’d like to lay around, he leaps out of the corner in time, leaving Sophie to spinebuster AJ into the pads and follow up with forearms to the head! Chris instead turns his attention to his partner Faith catching Kelli with a laggard, but clean punch, sending her rope a doping! Chris weakly yells out, “HOLD HER!!” to which Faith snatches Kelli off the ropes from behind and turns in Chris’s direction. Chris takes a couple steps back, targets Kelli’s head, then comes running forward with a spinning roundhouse kick! However Kelli is quite sweaty, and easily slides out of the metal grasp of Faith, allowing her to take the big kick to the face!! “OHHH!!!”s from the fans as Faith topples towards the ropes, almost going over from the momentum. Chris is in shock, and Kelli uses that to her advantage with a big superkick planted under his chin!! “OHHH!!!!”s from the crowd as Chris topples, then Kelli runs at Faith and hits her clean in the jaw with another superkick, sending her clean over the top rope!! Just as Faith hits the water, the drone comes back for another visit.)

HARDT: Faith HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

5….

4…..

3…..

2…..

1…..

(The air sounds, but the attention isn’t to the next competitor. It’s to Faith being rescued by four Coast Guard swimmers and taken back to their boat. They struggle with her heavy costume, but manage to get her onboard. As they do that ‘Razor Blades and Steak Knives’ by Jarren Benton plays, which brings the spotlight on a pale, milky white alien phallus making it’s way through the crowd. Frisky gets hyped in her costume, trying to bring the attention to her and not Faith potentially getting arrested.)

HARDT: Making her way to the ring, weighing in at 130 pounds...she is one of the fastest rising rookies in PW history….FRRRRRRRRIIISSSSSSKKKKKKYYYYYYYY DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

ALPINE: Poor Frisky. She’s trying to get the attention on her but the fans are like a congregation of prairie dogs as they watch what’s going on with Faith.

RODZ: I guess Slaine found the culprit. I would’ve never guessed Faith, but then again this ship is littered with cameras so only he knows who did it.

ALPINE: It is?

RODZ: Oh yeah. Found that out the hard way. Don’t ever masturbate in the indoor pool of your boss's boat. Just prevent the awkward reprimanding.

ALPINE: …Um yeah. So with Faith eliminated, that brings us down to Kelli Torres, Chris Andrew, Masaru Inoue, Aurora, Sophie El, AJ Morales, Geno Forliti, Frankie Starlight, and Frisky D.

(The Coast Guard boats take off, not wanting to distract the public any longer then they have to. Which leaves the spotlight to Frisky as she enters the ring she sees Aurora chopping away with leg kicks at Geno, doing her best to keep the big man at bay. Sophie decides to go two for one and sends AJ Morales smashing face first into Chris Andrew with a hard irish whip!! “OHHH!!”s from the crowd as the two collide with dual harsh headbutts and drop! Masaru shakes the cobwebs out but advances to Kelli, who reluctantly squares up with the kicking machine. That leaves a winded, post strangled Frankie without a partner, to which Frisky hops up to the top rope, scouts him, then delivers an awkward cannonball!! The crowd pops as Frankie hits the mat and Frisky pops up. She hits the ropes then comes back with another cannonball, leaving Frankie spasming! AJ and Chris are quite hurt from that dual headbutt, with AJ having a cut on his forehead from the impact. As the two recover side by side Sophie looks for someone to dance with. Kelli is fair prey with her bruised up ankles and shaky gait, but she doesn’t want to deal with Masaru. Seeing that her rival Frisky is in the ring, Sophie decides to steal her thunder and rip Frankie off the mat just as Frisky is attempting a high risk move. She crashes with an elbow drop into the mat as Sophie bearhug hooks Frankie, walks back a few steps, the tosses him over the top rope with a big time overhead belly to belly suplex!! The suited singing wonder hits the water to the “HOLY SHIT!!”s of the crowd.)

HARDT: Frankie Starlight HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: The Collective planned to be unified, but the order of participants and them being walking targets has almost completely eliminated their chances of winning this.

RODZ: They’ve pissed off most of the roster, so it really is no wonder they’re in this predicament.

ALPINE: With Frankie eliminated that brings us down to Kelli Torres, Chris Andrew, Masaru Inoue, Aurora, Geno Forliti, AJ Morales, Sophie El, and Frisky D.

RODZ: And whoever this is, coming out next.

(The Phoenixdrone flutters above the ring, counting down the next competitor to enter the rumble.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(With the sound of the air horn we get the usual fan chatter. Not for long though as the ‘Star Wars’ theme hits the PA, getting people on their feet. The camera scans the crowd, showing off a few Star Wars themed costumed patrons. Out from the back walks Richard Roque with a beard in a robe, holding a glowing green light saber. He stalks through the crowd with the sword, being followed by his wife Peaches dressed as Leia.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 275 pounds….he’s stepping out of retirement for the big one….ROOOOQQQQQQUUUEEEEEE SKKKKKKYYYYYWWWWAAAAALLLLKKKEEERRRR!!!!

RODZ: I can’t believe he made her say that. Dork.

ALPINE: He’s having fun Johnny. It’s only once a year.

RODZ: Okay, I’ll remind you of that when this dork has lightsaber fights in the office with Toast.

(Richard makes his way into the rumble right away, going right for a distracted Geno as he battles it out with Aurora. Richard cracks the lightsaber over his back, causing Geno to slowly turn around. Aurora takes advantage of this and springs up to the nearest top rope, perching for her opportunity. Geno grabs the lightsaber on Roque’s second attempt and smashes it over his knee, causing Roque’s eyes to widen! Geno turns around, right into a leaping tornado DDT from Aurora that sends him crashing to the canvas! Sophie targets Frisky, cornering her but the slipperiness of Frisky’s costume allows hers to snake right out! Sophie smiles and gives chase as AJ Morales and Chris Andrew start to recover from their dual headbutt. AJ is bleeding from his forehead but looks fresher of the two. Kelli meanwhile gets caught with a nasty spinning back kick from Masaru which sends her teetering to the corner! Masaru follows that up with a shotgun dropkick which leaves her slumped in the corner! With Kelli out of the way, Masaru makes his way over to Aurora to give her a helping hand. He does that by chopping on the back of Geno’s leg as he stands, knocking him down to one knee. With him in perfect position, Aurora springs off the ropes and plants Geno with the Ghostly Kiss DDT!!! “OHHHH!!!”s from the crowd as the big man’s head spikes on the mat! AJ at this point is eying Roque, who is lamenting the loss of his lightsaber. AJ helps him to cope with a 94’ Blitz, taking Roque to the mat! Roque rolls over from the impact and the two engage in a rolling slugfest! As the two slug away, Masaru and Aurora look to their next targets, which happen to be Chris Andrew and Kelli Torres. Masaru goes back to Kelli, and Aurora goes over to a stumbling Chris just getting to his feet. Drone time…)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1....

(The fans quiet as the air horn sounds, awaiting the next competitor. ‘Time’(Yelhigh! Remix) by Satellite Empire plays, bringing on the cheers from the crowd! An orange spotlight shines down into the crowd, showing a young woman in a maroon bodysuit with a Phoenix on the front doing a bird glide down the aisle.)

HARDT: Making her way to the ring, weighing in at 117 pounds...she is the Songbird, and the current Rising Phoenix Champion…..ANNNNNAAAAASSSSSTTTTTAAAASSSSSSIIIIAAAAA ‘DAAAAARRRRKKKKK PPPPPPPHHHHOOOOEEEEEENNNNIIIXXX’ SSSSTTTTAAAAARRRRRLLLLIIINNNGGGGG!!!!

ALPINE: Just as Hell Is Waiting split up to inflict punishment, Sophie’s partner joins her in the rumble!

RODZ: Anastasia and Sophie are one of the strongest pairs in PW, and aren’t going to be an easy team to get rid of. Frisky, you might very well be fucked.

(As Anastasia run-slides into the ring, Masaru races at Kelli Torres for a grounded dropkick. Luckily she moves out of the way and crawls away on all fours, leaving Masaru in chase. Frisky is in the middle of being irish whipped to the ropes so she has to leap frog Kelli in the middle of the path, but that only leaves her right in the path of an Our Lady Peace, leaving Frisky bouncing off the ropes and hitting the mat! Aurora picks up a tired Chris Andrew. Seeing he’s ripe for the pickings, she grabs a handful of hair and tries to toss him over the top rope! Chris snaps back just in time, catching the top rope and clinging to it as Aurora tries to eliminate him. Meanwhile Roque and AJ are on their feet, with Roque catching AJ clean on the cut with a punch! Roque waves him on after that, so AJ replies with a Liberator! The punch lands flush, sending Roque flopping over the top rope!! Peaches screams on the outside as Roque hits the water!!)

HARDT: Roque Skywalker HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

RODZ: HAHA! Serves him right! You don’t get into a fist fight with one of the top names outside of PW. Especially if you’re just coming out of retirement.

ALPINE: With Roque eliminated that leaves Anastasia Starling, Sophie El, Kelli Torres, Chris Andrew, Masaru Inoue, Aurora, Geno Forliti, AJ Morales, and Frisky D.

(AJ takes off his mask and shakes the blood off of it, taking some time to recover from that punch to the head. Meanwhile Frisky finds herself on the wrong end of a double team move as Sophie lifts up Frisky on her shoulders. Anastasia assists her with that by landing a springboard polish hammer, knocking her to the mat to the “OHHH!!”s of the crowd. Masaru gives up on chasing Kelli when he sees Chris latched onto the top rope and Aurora trying her hardest to pry him off and send him over. Masaru stomps over with a smile and aids in the pushing over as Geno Forliti pushes up to his feet in a daze. He looks out over the chaos as the familiar drone reappears above the ring.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(An air horn sounds, bringing on the chatter. ‘Bring Me Down’ by Pillar plays over the PA, getting a cricket reaction. Coming through the crowd via spotlight is a guy dressed in a Wolverine costume. No one knows who in the hell he is, so Lenne helps the fans out.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 185 pounds, ASSSSSSHHHHHTTTTOOOONNNNNNN ROOOOOOBBBBBBEEEEEEERRRRTTTSSS!!!

RODZ: Who’s the dork in the Wolverine costume?

ALPINE: His name is Ashton Roberts. He is a fighter signed on with CGFC, and is PW’s newest signing.

RODZ: An MMA kid eh? If he can last a fraction of the time that Kelli did, this debut might be a success.

(The recovered Geno isn’t about to let Aurora and Masaru get away with their actions. He approaches Masaru first from behind, but Masaru is on the ball with a back kick to the balls!! “OOHHHHH!!” from the crowd as Geno bends over and grabs his balls. Seeing they have a problem on their hands, Aurora leaves Andrew alone and goes to the apron. She springboards off with a big dropkick, staggering the giant to the ropes! Masaru leaps into action with a springboard Killshot!, leaving him slumped over the ropes! Knowing this is their opportunity to get out the last of the Collective, Masaru and Aurora duck down and lift up on the legs, doing their best to get the big man out. Figuring he’d help them out, Ashton runs at Geno as they’re lifting him up. Problem is he goes for a flying dropkick just as Geno teeters over, sending both competitors awkwardly crashing into the water!!)

HARDT: Geno Forliti and Ashton Roberts HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!!

RODZ: You know what I was saying about this guy Ashton possibly having potential? Scratch that.

ALPINE: It was a brave move that ended up costing him big. With that double elimination we’re down to Aurora, Masaru, Chris Andrew, Sophie, Anastasia, AJ Morales, Kelli Torres, and Frisky D.

(AJ Morales places his mask back on over his bloody face and targets a recovering Kelli Torres. He grabs her off the ropes and chops her in the chest, causing the crowd to “WOOO!!!” in response. Chris Andrew unravels from the top rope, looking amazed he didn’t get tossed over. He doesn’t have much time to enjoy his escape though as Masaru drives a shining wizard into his chest, driving him into a corner! Frisky D. tries to escape the wrath of Anastasia and Sophie but finds herself getting dropkicked in the face by Ana as Sophie holds her in a camel clutch! Aurora calmly walks up to Kelli and AJ as they have a chop fest. She then boots AJ in the gut, then Kelli, then drives them both to the mat with a double DDT!!! “HOLY SHIT!!” chants from the audiences as the drone pops up over the ring again.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(The air horn sounds, and the fans wait. ‘Everybody Sells Coccaine’ by Motionless in White plays, bringing on the cheers of the fans. A red spotlight shines down in the crowd, focusing on a masked ninja making his way to ringside.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 185 pounds...he is the Seattle Saint, FFFFFIIIIINNNNNNNNN ‘SCCCCCCOOORRRRPPPPPIIIIOOOONNNNN’ !!!!

ALPINE: Here comes Finn dressed as Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. He has to feel a bit of vindication after seeing Seth Black proved wrong earlier.

RODZ: I’m trying so hard not to make a flaming skeleton joke right now.

(Finn makes his way up to the ring and sees a ready and willing Aurora, standing there and ready to fight. As soon as he steps through the ropes he pulls a bladed retractable rope from his side, swinging around the top end. Aurora eyes her bow, which surprisingly is still in the ring, and snatches it up. Finn tries to run to stop her, but Aurora is too quick with a snatch and smash at the ankles! Finn’s Scorpion shin pads soften the blow, but cause him to back off as the two circle. Meanwhile Masaru Inoue stands on the second rope and starts raining down punches on the beaten face of Chris Andrew. After about the fifth punch he fights back, carrying Masaru out of the corner and snake eying him across the top rope! Maz grabs his throat, coughing and spitting as Chris takes a breather on the mat. Kelli and AJ are both starting to recover from that double DDT and make their way to their feet. As all this is going on Anastasia and Sophie are intensifying their attack on Frisky by trying their best to shove her over the top rope. The fans gasp as she slips over the top, but somehow Frisky finds a way to land on the apron and roll inside to safety. Anastasia and Sophie try to grab her but she keeps rolling around on the mat, leaving a slimy trail as the women try in vain to pick the giant alien phallus off the mat. Aurora blocks a few shots from Finn’s bladed rope, but a wide swing causes her weapon to get wrapped up in the rope! In a feat worthy of Indiana Jones status, Finn yanks back on the bow and flicks it to the sky, causing the bow to twirl like a baton before crashing into the water! Aurora mutters a cuss word in Finn’s direction as the drone shows up again, beginning another countdown.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(The air horn sounds and the crowd awaits the 17th competitor. ‘Toguro’ by Dir En Grey hits and the crowd responds in kind with a lot of cheers. A pink spotlight shines down through the crowd, but quickly goes to the balcony above the ring, where Nina Stokes is dressed in her Spider-Gwen costume for the evening. She takes a look at the action as Lenne announces her.)

HARDT: Making her way to the ring, weighing in at 140 pounds, she is a decorated HKW superstar who is stepping back in the ring for one night…..NNNNIIIIINNNNNNAAAA ‘SPPPPPPIIIIIDDDDDEEERR-GGGWWWWWWEEEEENNNN’ SSSSTTTTTOOOOOKKKKKEEEEESSSS!!!

ALPINE: Here we have one of the brightest stars from HKW competing in Boats N’ Throws. Truly an honor to have a big name like her competing tonight.

RODZ: She is coming back from an injury, so she might play it safe. That said, looks like she’s gonna start off this match in an unsafe way!

(Nina sees AJ and Kelli just starting to stand, and she makes use of the opportunity. With a step off the railing, she comes down on both of them with a double clothesline!! “OHHH!!!”s from the crowd as the two go right back to the mat, frustrated and exhausted. Meanwhile Chris Andrew, realizing he has no allies in this match decides to give Frisky a helping hand. Just as Frisky is about to be backed into a corner by Sophie and Anastasia, Chris runs to the ropes, springs off, and connects with a crossbody that catches Anastasia off guard! Sophie gets distracted by Chris’s attack, leaving her open to a boot to the gut from Frisky, followed by the Spanish Inquisition!! “OHHHH!!!”s from the crowd as Sophie drops to the mat grabbing her sore jaw. Masaru starts to stand from the snake eye, grabbing his throat and watching as Aurora and Finn start to circle, with Finn absorbing a lot of Aurora’s kicks with his heavily padded uniform. An evil grin spreads across the battle worn face of Masaru as he crouches down. He sneaks on his tippie toes behind Finn, Aurora not even realizing what’s going on till’ it happens. Masaru then hooks and drives Finn into the canvas with a devastating tiger suplex!! “OHHH!!!”s from the crowd as Finn bounces off his neck and to his feet, hits the ropes in a dazed stumble, then returns right into the waiting arms of Aurora with a fisherman DDT!! “OHHH!!!”s from the crowd as Finn grabs his head and stomps. AJ looks pissed after being dropped twice, and eyes Nina as she picks up Kelli. As soon as Nina gets to her feet, AJ cracks her with a superkick to the back of the head!! He gets some boos in turn, but quickly takes advantage of the situation by headbutting Kelli! He grabs the dazed woman and tries to throw her over as the drone comes out once again.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(With the sound of the air horn, we await the 18th person. ‘Toni Smoke’ by Shadowpeople plays, getting a WTF reaction from the audience. It’s not long after we get a puke green spotlight on the crowd. Coming through the masses is a man dressed like Beetlejuice, waving at the crowd like a weirdo.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 215 pounds, HIIIIIIRRROOOOOOKKKKKKIIII RAAAAAAAAAIIIIIJJJJJJJIIIINNNNNN!!!!

ALPINE: I honestly didn’t think Hirooki would be able to make it out for the match after going unconscious earlier, but here he is!

RODZ: He looks a little bit bigger than usual. Did he stuff his costume?

ALPINE: I guess so, although I don’t know why he would do that.

(Hirooki sees AJ trying to get out the incredibly worn Kelli and decides to give him a hand. Meanwhile Masaru takes over on Finn, smashing the back of his head into the mat repeatedly while laughing as Aurora finds a new person to fight in Nina Stokes. Nina recovers on her feet right into a headlock from Aurora, but acts quickly with a northern lights release suplex! As Aurora grabs her lower back in pain Frisky places Sophie in the corner and comes rushing in with a big back elbow!! “OHHH!!”s from the audience as Frisky follows up with a snapmare, then a rolling neck snap on Sophie! Anastasia is making Chris pay for targeting her by snatching one of his clothesline attempts into the Merovingian Crucifix, torquing his upper torso in mid air! Kelli comes real close to being thrown out with AJ succeeding in shoving her over the top rope! Kelli latches on and grabs the second rope on her way down, dangling for dear life with her weakened limbs. AJ and Hirooki smell blood and go for those hands, only to accidentally headbutt each other on the way down. AJ looks pissed after being headbutted a second time, and shoves the apologetic Hirooki on his ass!! Kelli takes advantage of the distraction and slithers back into the ring, trying her best to catch a breather. Nina tries going for a rushing knee strike to the back of the head as Aurora is standing, but Aurora has the presence of mind to go for a reverse drop toe hold, dropping Nina to the mat! She tries to follow up with a side headlock but Nina easily worms out of that and to her feet. The two round each other, looking for an opening as Masaru stands up Finn. About that time the drone comes out, hanging above the ring.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(The air horn sounds, and the fans anxiously await to see who’s left. They quickly pop once they hear ‘You’re The Best’ by Joe Esposito play, bringing out the Fin-Nisher. A yellow spotlight shines down on the crowd on a man dressed in a giant grilled cheese sandwich costume. Fin high fives and knucklebutts as he gets back patted on the way to the ring.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 176 pounds, he is the king of Finland…..TTTTTTTTHHHHHHHEEEEEEE ‘GRRRRRRILLLLLLEEEEEDDD CCCCHHHEEEEESSSSEEEE’ FFFFIIIINNNNN-NIIIISSSSSHHHHEEEEERRRRR!!!!!

RODZ: Okay, now I get the taco outfit Twin was wearing earlier. Alright Fin, good idea.

ALPINE: Fin is coming in at number 19, only leaving one more wrestler in the rumble. I don’t think Fin has ever drawn a number this good in the history of PW battle royals!

RODZ: Good, he deserves it. Guy is a soldier. I mean he’s probably gonna get thrown over a minute from now but hey, good for him.

(The Fin-Nisher tries his best to get to ringside, squeezing through the humanity and moving up to the apron. As he tries to figure out how to get through the ropes, Nina Stokes is squaring off with Aurora in a striking match. Aurora blocks a combo coming her way from Nina, leaps the sweep, but gets caught with a european uppercut from Nina, followed by her trapping the arms of Aurora. She looks like she’s about to receive a face full of headbutts, but Masaru comes running to her aid with a leaping neckbreaker on Nina, knocking her to the mat! Frisky gets a little risky on Sophie and eyes her from the top rope. She goes for a blockbuster but Sophie still has her wits, catching her in a release belly to belly suplex! As Frisky grabs her spine Anastasia dumps Chris to the mat with a bodyslam, then looks out ot the crowd. She feels her partner’s eyes on her, and looks to Sophie with a smile. She then runs at Sophie, who launches her into the air with a pop up! After some significant hang time, she lands the Sturnidae on Chris Andrew to “OHHH!!”s from the audience! Meanwhile AJ is getting into a chop battle with Hirooki, with Hirooki throwing a few of his own. Having enough of the back and forth, AJ kicks back and nails him in the head with the Golden Goal!! Another “OHHH!!” as Hirooki drops to his knees, then his face. With Hirooki out of the way, AJ sets his sights on Kelli, dragging her up by her tousled head and taking her to the ropes. As he resumes trying to throw her out, Finn recovers and is already eying Masaru. Before he can attack though, we see that drone one last time.)

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

(The air horn sounds for a final time, and the fans all look to the back to see who the mystery man is. ‘Black’ by Pearl Jam plays, getting a decent reaction as some fans get an idea from the theme. Even as the spotlight shines down on him, a lot can’t tell who he is by his Judge Dredd costume concealing his identity.)

HARDT: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 221 pounds….he is a former PW World Champion...he is the current Redemption GM….SSSSEEEEEETTTTTTHHHHHH ‘JUUUUUDDDDDDDGGGEEEEE DDDDRRRREEEEAAAADDDD’ BLLLLLLLAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!!!!!

ALPINE: Oh my god!! Seth Black is coming out of retirement!

RODZ: I guess he wasn’t fucking around when he threatened Finn earlier!!

ALPINE: He most certainly wasn’t! Welcome back Seth!!

(Big time “WELCOME BACK!!!” chants go through the audience as Seth Black makes his way to ringside. Meanwhile Whelan and Masaru trade strikes, with Masaru quickly finding out his kicks are losing their potency. Once Seth comes up to the ring he sees his buddy Fin-Nisher trying to get into the ring and helps him out. Like a gentleman he holds down the top and middle rope for him, allowing Fin to squeeze his way into the ring. He thanks his boss, to which Seth raises a hand and smiles. However now since Fin’s in the ring, he’s an easy target. He’s the first thing in Sophie’s sights, leading to Sophie running him over with a Death Dealer!! “OHHH!!”s from the crowd as Fin hits the mat and Sophie is on him. Seth goes to help his friend but is met with a spinning bird kick from Anastasia, knocking him to the ropes!! Sophie yanks up Fin and hoists him up for the Spiral Bomb, rotating eight times!! Each time the crowd “WHOA!!”ing to each revolution!! She then spikes him down with the bomb, leading to a loud clatter of the ring and “OHHH!!!”s from the fans. AJ is once again succeeding in putting the worn Kelli over the top rope, but Hirooki isn’t about to lay down from that pele kick and comes crashing into AJ’s back with a sledgehammer, once again allowing Kelli an opportunity to survive. Meanwhile Nina rushes Aurora for a takedown, getting close to completing it before Aurora locks in a guillotine!! Chris Andrew crawls to the nearest ropes, breathing harshly from having his ribs repeatedly attacked in the match. Frisky picks herself up, looking to Sophie and Anastasia neutralizing Fin and Seth.)

ALPINE: Anastasia and Sophie have been a well oiled machine in this match, successfully double teaming and immobilizing anyone in their path.

RODZ: Well Sophie might wanna watch out, Finn is looking a little queasy there…

(Finn holds his hand over his mouth, clearly seasick after that vomit inducing Spiral Bomb from Sophie. Just as Sophie is getting ready to throw him over the top rope, Frisky taps Sophie on the shoulder, she turns around, and open slaps her hard in the chest!! “WOOOSSS!!” from the audience as she clenches her chest. Frisky doesn’t give her time to react and quickly grabs an arm, springboards off the ropes, and takes Sophie to the mat with a triangle arm drag!! Anastasia sees how uneasy Fin is and drops Seth Black. Instead she grabs Fin by his outfit, gets a running drag going, and tosses out Fin towards the ropes! However on his way out, he throws up all over Seth Black, covering him in vomit!! “EWWWWW!!!”s and laughter from the fans as Seth Black is disgusted to be covered with thick orange puke. Fin splashes on the outside, making another victim.)

HARDT: Fin-Nisher HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

ALPINE: And there goes Fin! Looks like sea sickness will always be the finnish brothers bane in this match!!

RODZ: I don’t feel bad for Fin, that was expected. Now Seth...man he’s gotta be hating life right now.

(A puke covered Seth Black looks down over the railing, watching as Fin floats there while PW personnel come to float him to shore. That distraction is his downfall though as Hirooki Rajin breaks away from AJ to land a huge big boot across the back of Seth Black’s head, knocking him over!!)

HARDT: Seth Black HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

ALPINE: At this point I’m not even gonna rundown the eliminations with them coming this quickly. But wow how did Hirooki Rajin, out of all people just eliminate Seth Black? Not a good idea by Hirooki!

RODZ: I’m getting the feeling that’s not Hirooki…

(Hirooki rips off his cheap Beetlejuice mask, revealing Mason Daniels under the mask!! Seth Black takes off his helmet in the water, and his wide eyes share what everyone else is saying right now. “HOLY SHIT!!” rings out through the audience as the maniacal Mason smiles down on Seth Black. Seth starts cussing up a storm as the unmasked Mason targets Masaru and Finn who are unaware of his presence. Masaru gets Finn in a muay thai clinch and starts pelting him with knees, leaving both men prone to a running shoulder block from Mason that takes them off their game! With Whelan dangling against the ropes, Mason gives him a running yakuza kick that helps him up and over the top rope! Lenne goes to announce Finn being eliminated, but notices that he’s still hanging on due to that retractable rope of his! Somehow he’s hooked to the bottom rope, and uses it to scale his way back up! Meanwhile Masaru and Mason trade fists as Nina is finally able to squirm out of that guillotine. Aurora tries for an irish whip once they get to their feet but Nina reverses, trapping Aurora right into a hard feint knee strike to the face! Aurora drops to one knee before Nina takes her to the mat with an armbar! Meanwhile Anastasia is flicking a few chunks of barf off of her as she watches Sophie and Frisky scramble on the mat, with Frisky switching to two different types of armbars to keep Sophie confused. Before she can help out her wife though she’s caught with AJ’s DiaBlade out of nowhere, taking her to the mat! Kelli and Chris Andrew, two of the first people to start out the match look to each other as the only ones not battling it out, and sigh.)

ALPINE: It truly is remarkable that these two have lasted this long. Just goes to show you the conditioning of these kids nowadays.

RODZ: What’s remarkable is that cockroach Finn lasting. How in the hell is that skinny bastard still in this?

ALPINE: The guy’s lasso game is on point.

(Finn climbs his way up the side of the boat, getting a nice “FINN!!!” chant for his efforts. Once up to the apron he slides in and targets Mason and Masaru. The two are chopping and punching away, with the fresher of the two Mason backing Masaru into a corner. With a crouch down, Finn springs into action, knocking Mason out of Masaru’s grasp with his trademark dropkick!! “OHHH!!”s from the crowd as Mason tumbles over, crashing into the water below!!)

HARDT: Mason Daniels HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: Well so much for Mason lasting the distance. When Finn lands that dropkick you’re going down, doesn’t matter who you are.

RODZ: Mr. Skullface has to have lead foot implants.

(Chris and Kelli weakly lock up, the two reluctant to keep on battling in such worn states. Still they clash, with Chris weakly tossing Kelli to the ropes. She bounces off, ducks a laggard clothesline attempt, irish whips Chris to the ropes, who just so happens to be in Finn’s path as he’s turning around! Thinking fast, Finn ducks and back body drops Chris Andrew over the top rope!! He splashes in the water, almost looking relieved!!)

HARDT: Chris Andrew HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: He lasted long, but nonetheless succumbed to a fresher man. Solid effort Chris.

(Finn locks eyes with Kelli, her muttering “oh shit” as Finn looks her way. What Finn doesn’t see is Sophie trying to powerbomb Frisky, only for Frisky to awkwardly hurricanrana Sophie towards Finn!! Sophie’s boot cracks Finn in the face to the “OHHH!!”s of the fans, knocking him up and over the top rope!!)

HARDT: Finn Whelan HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: What a strange way to get eliminated, but Finn finds himself treading water this time!

RODZ: That’s the thing about this ring, it’s a bit smaller than usual arena rings. You’re gonna butt heads, there’s just no other way.

(Kelli takes a deep breath from that, but is cut short as AJ comes running from behind and snatches her. Finally succeeding this time, he throws Kelli Torres over the top rope!!)

HARDT: Kelli Torres HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: Finally this resilient young woman is eliminated. She put up a hell of a fight coming in at number 1!!

RODZ: Much respect for her first time in the ring. The kid has a bright future here.

(Aurora receives a couple of stiff shots from Nina, backing her to the ropes. Nina comes in for a hard knee strike to the gut, then starts trying to throw Aurora over. Not one to let an opportunity to get rid of a dangerous wrestler pass, AJ races up to help Nina get out Aurora! Aurora can be seen flailing, freaking out as she dangles on the top rope. Suddenly a spotlight shoots through the crowd, showcasing a very big man making his way to ringside. Upon closer inspection it’s Legacy, bringing on the cheers from the audience!!)

ALPINE: What is Legacy doing down here?

RODZ: Hopefully he's down here to fuck shit up!!

(He gets up to the ring apron, pulls himself up, then easily climbs over the top rope. Just as Aurora is about to fall over to the other side, Legacy grabs Nina with one hand, AJ with the other, and headbutts them together!! “OHHH!!”s and laughs from the crowd as the two collide and fall to the mat! Legacy then picks up his wife, puts her on his shoulder, and leaves the match the same way he came in. Over the top.)

HARDT: Aurora HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: In what has to be one of the strangest eliminations I’ve ever seen, Legacy purposely eliminated his wife from the competition!

RODZ: Probably wanted to prevent the inevitable. I heard Aurora’s not to fond of falling in water. Still though, sucks for Mazzy.

(AJ and Nina get to their feet, confused as to what just went down. So is her partner Masaru, who looks on before shrugging his shoulders and looking at two women currently staring him down. Masaru then looks to his side, seeing Frisky step up. Just as AJ and Nina get in a striking battle, the impromptu team of Masaru and Frisky clash with Ana and Sophie. Sophie and Frisky clash into each other with an odd collar and elbow tie up as Masaru and Anastasia circle. Anastasia is easily getting the better of the tired Masaru, nailing him in the exposed thigh with kick after kick. Masaru gets frustrated and throws a winging roundhouse his way, only for her to sidestep it and crack him in the temple with an Our Lady Peace!! “OHHH!!”s from the audience as Masaru flies to the ropes, but not over. He uses the momentum to spring back for a clothesline, only to get caught in a crazy satellite headscissors! After three revolutions she lets him go, allowing him to dart in a daze up and over the top rope!!)

HARDT: Masaru Inoue HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: A lot of the long timers in this match are dropping, with Sophie still lasting at number six. Masaru fought like a samurai, as always.

RODZ: And he wins the award for coolest costume. Looks insane and is insanely painful. Great combo.

(Nina is pushing back AJ with some strong strikes, with AJ trying to fight back. He goes for a leaping enziguri, but Nina ducks and drops down, latching on the Quietus Redux!! As she rips apart AJ’s chest and leaves him screaming, Sophie wins the lock up battle with Frisky after a failed attempt to hand assist a springboard armdrag. Sophie takes control from there, scooping up Frisky over her shoulder. She then runs at the ropes for what looks like a running avalanche release slam, but Frisky is able to latch onto the top rope with her hands. With her feet she snatches Sophie’s head, taking her up and over the top rope with a reverse hurricanrana!!)

HARDT: Sophie El HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

ALPINE: Wow! Sophie went for a sure fire elimination and somehow, someway Frisky Dingo finds a way to counter it!!

RODZ: For being an unpolished rookie, her counter game is top shelf. Her outfit sure doesn’t hinder her either.

ALPINE: You ain’t kidding. We’re down to the final four, Anastasia Starling, Frisky D, Nina Stokes, and AJ Morales!!

(AJ and Nina are striking away, really testing each other with Nina pushing AJ back. The free Anastasia sees them so close to the ropes and ascends the turnbuckle nearest them. Once positioned, she flies off the top rope with a double Big Top Blockbuster, planting them into the mat with some “ANA-STA-SIA!!” chants to go with it. She yanks up AJ, the more winded of the two and throws him to the corner. She lifts him up on the top rope, then punches him several times to keep him dazed. Just as she steps up to the top, she sees Frisky approaching from behind. With cat like speed, she throws herself backward, connecting with a moonsault dropkick that sends Frisky flying!! “OHHHH!!!”s from the crowd as Anastasia runs right back up to the top rope, pelting AJ with forearms to keep him dazed. She then hops up on top of his shoulders, spins out, and throws him out into the water!!)

HARDT: AJ Morales HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: Down to three! AJ put up an amazing performance for this being his first time in PW!

RODZ: Dude is legit. I thought he was a fluke that beat Cassius on a bad night, but that guy is legit.

(Anastasia is able to catch herself on the top rope, but what she doesn’t count on is Nina Stokes teep kicking her in the hands, sending her to the water!!)

HARDT: Anastasia Starling HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: A respectable showing from the Rising Phoenix Champion, coming in at third place for a second year in a row.

RODZ: There’s a reason she’s the most dominant champion on the roster.

(Nina sees Frisky approaching and acts quick. She catches one of Frisky’s vader paws into a flying armbar, taking Frisky up and over the top rope! However the slippery nature of Frisky’s costume causes Nina to lose her grip on the armbar and slip right into Lake Havasu!!)

HARDT: Nina Stokes HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

ALPINE: FRISKY DID IT!!! SHE’LL NOW GO ON TO FACE CASSIUS FOR THE REDEMPTION CHAMPIONSHIP!!

RODZ: From tag partner to top contender, this kid is moving up quick!!

(Frisky holds onto the bottom rope with one hand, and is able to pull herself up and over onto the apron. She’s tired as hell getting up to her feet, but Oz Oxford Jr. is there to raise her hand in victory.)

HARDT: Your winner of the 2017 Boats N’ Throws boattle royal….FFFFFFFFRRRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSSSKKKKKKYYYYYYYY DDDDDDDDD!!!!!

WINNER: Frisky D. via LAST PERSON STANDING @ 65 minutes, 19 seconds.

(After all her struggles, Frisky D finds herself the lone remaining wrestler, and she takes a breather, hands on her thighs as she realizes what she's done and then she straightens up, turning herself until she faces where the current Rebirth Champion Cassius Reed watches the proceedings. As Razor Blades and Steak Knives by Jarren Benton plays she lifts her hand and points right at Cassius. This tableaux endures for long moments until the Iron King slowly stands, and gives her a round of applause. It's hard to tell if he's serious or mocking, his expression having never changed, but he and Frisky stare at each other as first the Boats N' Throws logo rises on the screen, fades, and is replaced by the Phoenix Wrestling logo until it fades to black.)