Post by turdferguson on Apr 28, 2017 19:07:14 GMT
Off Cam
Evening of 4.26.17 bleeding into A.M. of 4.27.17
Frisky sighed as she laid forward on her hotel room bed, eyes transfixed on her laptop. She had thought it would be easy to sleep, given how run down she felt, but she had been unable to do so. Her mind was racing too much and she was too on edge about her upcoming title challenge at Tempest. Eventually after tossing and turning, she had decided to fire up the computer and check her e-mail. Granted, she could have probably done that from her phone while still laying under the covers-- it might have even helped her fall asleep-- but she always ended up losing her phone under the sheets or something when she tried to do that. The last thing she wanted was to wake up not knowing where her phone is, or remembering that she had unplugged it from the charger. There was too much stressing her out right now to spend the morning freaking out looking for it.
Her inbox was filled with mostly spam, seriously a lot of it, but there was an e-mail from her mom. She almost missed it in between scammers and offers for gift cards, but managed to catch it out of the corner of her eye. Frisky had written her a while back, unsure what she was making the right career choices. Granted, she felt like these were the right choices, but there was still a decent amount of second guessing going on with this being a big time in her life. She had hoped to gain some kind of reassurance that she was doing the right thing, but forgot who she was talking to. Instead, she got an e-mail back about how it was perfectly natural to want to try different things and not to worry if some didn't work out. She was very talented and if her wrestling thing didn't work out there were plenty of other careers out there for her.
Backing these assertions up were a handful of attached articles and pieces of literature showing studies over the past twenty years about adolescence and young adulthood, how people were finding careers and starting families at older and older ages now. It made her just about want to screm, she knew her mom meant well, but this was exactly the opposite of what she wanted. She didn't want a new age holistic 'it's okay to fail' speech, all she wanted was to be told that she had this, no questions asked. Despite being incredibly frustrated, she sent a reply thanking her, before returning to her inbox. She really wanted to just pass out now, but was even more stressed than before. Stumbling up out of bed, she headed over to the mini fridge and grabbed an alcoholic beverage, cracking it open. She took a drink and sat back down, shrugging her shoulders before opening up an e-mail from a 'Nigerian Prince' asking for money.
After taking a moment to deal with the sensation of feeling like she had some condensation from the drink up her nose, in addition to watery eyes. She took another swig and hit reply, before typing up a response:
"Gonna have to show me you want it more than that, Rakeem. Send nudes plz or no deal."
After hitting send, she giggled and let out an exhale, feeling good to have distracted herself from the gravity of her situation. Setting the drink down on her nightstand, she powered the laptop down and put it away. She snaked her hand out towards her beer, grabbing hold of it and heading back towards the frid+. It may not have seemed like much, but that moment of levity was something she desperately needed. Now-- she concluded in her head-- it was safe to get tanked and pass out to solve her little insomnia problem. If she was still feeling down and got shitfaced, that would have just been sad and depressing. This though, this was like a celebration or something; "Yep Frisky, another crisis averted," she mouthed to herself. Dang, she was a freaking genius sometimes.
On Cam
4.28.17
Guadalajara, Mexico
Fin.
Evening of 4.26.17 bleeding into A.M. of 4.27.17
Frisky sighed as she laid forward on her hotel room bed, eyes transfixed on her laptop. She had thought it would be easy to sleep, given how run down she felt, but she had been unable to do so. Her mind was racing too much and she was too on edge about her upcoming title challenge at Tempest. Eventually after tossing and turning, she had decided to fire up the computer and check her e-mail. Granted, she could have probably done that from her phone while still laying under the covers-- it might have even helped her fall asleep-- but she always ended up losing her phone under the sheets or something when she tried to do that. The last thing she wanted was to wake up not knowing where her phone is, or remembering that she had unplugged it from the charger. There was too much stressing her out right now to spend the morning freaking out looking for it.
Her inbox was filled with mostly spam, seriously a lot of it, but there was an e-mail from her mom. She almost missed it in between scammers and offers for gift cards, but managed to catch it out of the corner of her eye. Frisky had written her a while back, unsure what she was making the right career choices. Granted, she felt like these were the right choices, but there was still a decent amount of second guessing going on with this being a big time in her life. She had hoped to gain some kind of reassurance that she was doing the right thing, but forgot who she was talking to. Instead, she got an e-mail back about how it was perfectly natural to want to try different things and not to worry if some didn't work out. She was very talented and if her wrestling thing didn't work out there were plenty of other careers out there for her.
Backing these assertions up were a handful of attached articles and pieces of literature showing studies over the past twenty years about adolescence and young adulthood, how people were finding careers and starting families at older and older ages now. It made her just about want to screm, she knew her mom meant well, but this was exactly the opposite of what she wanted. She didn't want a new age holistic 'it's okay to fail' speech, all she wanted was to be told that she had this, no questions asked. Despite being incredibly frustrated, she sent a reply thanking her, before returning to her inbox. She really wanted to just pass out now, but was even more stressed than before. Stumbling up out of bed, she headed over to the mini fridge and grabbed an alcoholic beverage, cracking it open. She took a drink and sat back down, shrugging her shoulders before opening up an e-mail from a 'Nigerian Prince' asking for money.
After taking a moment to deal with the sensation of feeling like she had some condensation from the drink up her nose, in addition to watery eyes. She took another swig and hit reply, before typing up a response:
"Gonna have to show me you want it more than that, Rakeem. Send nudes plz or no deal."
After hitting send, she giggled and let out an exhale, feeling good to have distracted herself from the gravity of her situation. Setting the drink down on her nightstand, she powered the laptop down and put it away. She snaked her hand out towards her beer, grabbing hold of it and heading back towards the frid+. It may not have seemed like much, but that moment of levity was something she desperately needed. Now-- she concluded in her head-- it was safe to get tanked and pass out to solve her little insomnia problem. If she was still feeling down and got shitfaced, that would have just been sad and depressing. This though, this was like a celebration or something; "Yep Frisky, another crisis averted," she mouthed to herself. Dang, she was a freaking genius sometimes.
On Cam
4.28.17
Guadalajara, Mexico
The video begins with a shot of goings on outside of Guadalajara's Palacio Municipal. Passersby are observed for a few moments until the individual who is the reason for the camera crew's presence comes into view. Number one contender for the Rising Phoenix Championship Frisky D slows from to a jog as she approaches the camera upon completion of her morning jog. Hunching over with her hands on her knees, she tries her best to catch her breath.
"Sorry --"
Her breathing eventually slows down some.
"-- Man, I should have listened to people who said I needed to get here early to adjust to the altitude. That, uh, that is a killer, I have to admit."
She states, referencing the fact that the city is 5,108 feet above sea level.
"Like, I consider myself in pretty good shape, but holy crud. Not that I had any plans on trying to just run the time limit out to win the belt that way-- that'd be a pretty crappy way to get my first major title-- buuutt I think the fact that altitude is gonna kick in some point late after we're going back and forth is pretty good motivation to like, try to end this as quickly as possible. Easier said than done of course and I'll roll with the punches of what the match brings, but yeah, this is not a pleasant experi--"
A wheezing cough.
"Experience right now. It is what it is though, it isn't like I'm in a position to be shilling out the big bucks to rent a hotel room here for an extra week or whatever, still trying to make my mark and budget my cash how I can. Which is part of why this match is so big for me and I don't just mean because of how it would change things financially. Like, obviously it would be great to be a little more financially secure, but it's not just about that. It's about the things that come with that, like being able to commit one hundred percent to something and feel like it's your purpose."
She straightens herself up, wiping her brow off.
"I see Ana and how much this title means to her and holy crap, she is so hell bent on not letting this thing go. Think it might be partly the belt and partly a product of the journey she took to get here, the other experiences and all that, getting knocked down, the turmoil. And she hung through that, got a lot better and proved she's one of the best. For me, I really want something that means that much to me, that gets me that passionate in my life. Like, flying be the seat of the pants and living in the moment is fun and all but it's also part of being young and confused."
Frisky shrugs her shoulders.
"When you're trying to find your place in the world you kind of have to take that attitude I think. And I really want wrestling to be that thing which can break me out of that pattern I'm in and that I can just latch onto. I try to talk myself into it as much as I can, I mean before my contender's match with Kamigawa you probably heard me going over all the reasons I felt like the Rising Phoenix belt encapsulates what I'm about and where I am right now. The whole 'go, go, go' no resting on your laurels fast paced dealie. But there's a part of me that wonders if I was trying to convince you all of that, or myself."
The blonde shakes her head.
"Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm just ... making crap up or whatever. Like, logically everything I said makes sense to me. And I feel more passionately about wrestling than any of the other side jobs I've had that are just 'fun'. You don't put yourself through the type of training and hard work it takes to be able to pull counters out of nowhere against vets of the sport like I did against Ryuji if it's just a passing thing you think is fun, or a bit of a rush. It takes a lot of hard work-- I think I said that already-- pain and commitment. That's not even counting the extra work in the other jobs just to cover training and gear costs, all that. This isn't me trying to make it sound like my experience is special or unique, or whatever, I'm just in a weird state of mind right now and I feel like I have to go into detail to explain it right."
A deep breath.
"The point is, everything is there to tell me that this is the thing for me, that this is my future. But I've got those doubts, I'm still keeping my toes dipped in the water for other stuff. Afraid to commit all the way because like, what if I'm wrong? I mean, I'm bustin my butt to prepare for this match like you wouldn't believe, but realistically that's not a pace I can keep up. Like, I can't put in this much work, this much prep to be competitive at the highest level and still do all this other stuff without burning myself out mentally and physically. "
A beat skips.
"That's why this match right here is such a litmus test for me. I need something some kind of sign that I can let go of that other stuff, to allow myself to keep up this schedule and keep devoting myself to wrestling in the way I have been since I got noticed. And I feel like I'm on a deadline to do that, I really do because of the way I feel that clock ticking. It's easy to look on from the outside and say 'oh okay, she's young she has all the time in the world ahead of her'. Well yeah, I am young, but part of being young is also being confused, trying to scrape by and figure out what the hell you've gotten yourself into on a day to day basis."
She lets out a slow exhale, her voice cracking slightly despite her attempts to mask it.
"So this is more than just trying to win a belt for me. I don't really care about moral victories even though I'm considered a huge underdog, because I'm going against one of the best on the planet right now. Someone with a crapload of passion, who isn't just fighting me, but fighting the clock as well. There might be some people that think she does the things I do well, just better. But I refuse to believe that, not as a diss on her, but I have to believe that I have only just began to scratch the surface of what I'm capable of showing out there. Like, maybe I'll turn out to be an idiot for that, but I'm fine with looking dumb, wouldn't be the first time that's happened--what I wouldn't be able to stand is going 'what if' or knowing I could have done more, I could have found another level to tap into, I psyched myself out. I'm leaving absolutely everything I have out there, because I don't just need to win, this is my moment to find out for myself-- forget showing the world or making a name for the moment--what I'm made of. Maybe I am over my head, but that's pretty much been the state I've lived my life in for as long as I can remember, so I should be right at home. Sorry, that probably got a little too real just now, but that's where I am. Like Frank Costanza said, time for me to rise like a Phoenix from Arizona, see you at Tempest, Ana. "
Quiet, grounded, but seemingly a lot more confident and headstrong than she was just a few minutes ago, Frisky flashes a peace sign and walks off as the video cuts out to static.
"Sorry --"
Her breathing eventually slows down some.
"-- Man, I should have listened to people who said I needed to get here early to adjust to the altitude. That, uh, that is a killer, I have to admit."
She states, referencing the fact that the city is 5,108 feet above sea level.
"Like, I consider myself in pretty good shape, but holy crud. Not that I had any plans on trying to just run the time limit out to win the belt that way-- that'd be a pretty crappy way to get my first major title-- buuutt I think the fact that altitude is gonna kick in some point late after we're going back and forth is pretty good motivation to like, try to end this as quickly as possible. Easier said than done of course and I'll roll with the punches of what the match brings, but yeah, this is not a pleasant experi--"
A wheezing cough.
"Experience right now. It is what it is though, it isn't like I'm in a position to be shilling out the big bucks to rent a hotel room here for an extra week or whatever, still trying to make my mark and budget my cash how I can. Which is part of why this match is so big for me and I don't just mean because of how it would change things financially. Like, obviously it would be great to be a little more financially secure, but it's not just about that. It's about the things that come with that, like being able to commit one hundred percent to something and feel like it's your purpose."
She straightens herself up, wiping her brow off.
"I see Ana and how much this title means to her and holy crap, she is so hell bent on not letting this thing go. Think it might be partly the belt and partly a product of the journey she took to get here, the other experiences and all that, getting knocked down, the turmoil. And she hung through that, got a lot better and proved she's one of the best. For me, I really want something that means that much to me, that gets me that passionate in my life. Like, flying be the seat of the pants and living in the moment is fun and all but it's also part of being young and confused."
Frisky shrugs her shoulders.
"When you're trying to find your place in the world you kind of have to take that attitude I think. And I really want wrestling to be that thing which can break me out of that pattern I'm in and that I can just latch onto. I try to talk myself into it as much as I can, I mean before my contender's match with Kamigawa you probably heard me going over all the reasons I felt like the Rising Phoenix belt encapsulates what I'm about and where I am right now. The whole 'go, go, go' no resting on your laurels fast paced dealie. But there's a part of me that wonders if I was trying to convince you all of that, or myself."
The blonde shakes her head.
"Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm just ... making crap up or whatever. Like, logically everything I said makes sense to me. And I feel more passionately about wrestling than any of the other side jobs I've had that are just 'fun'. You don't put yourself through the type of training and hard work it takes to be able to pull counters out of nowhere against vets of the sport like I did against Ryuji if it's just a passing thing you think is fun, or a bit of a rush. It takes a lot of hard work-- I think I said that already-- pain and commitment. That's not even counting the extra work in the other jobs just to cover training and gear costs, all that. This isn't me trying to make it sound like my experience is special or unique, or whatever, I'm just in a weird state of mind right now and I feel like I have to go into detail to explain it right."
A deep breath.
"The point is, everything is there to tell me that this is the thing for me, that this is my future. But I've got those doubts, I'm still keeping my toes dipped in the water for other stuff. Afraid to commit all the way because like, what if I'm wrong? I mean, I'm bustin my butt to prepare for this match like you wouldn't believe, but realistically that's not a pace I can keep up. Like, I can't put in this much work, this much prep to be competitive at the highest level and still do all this other stuff without burning myself out mentally and physically. "
A beat skips.
"That's why this match right here is such a litmus test for me. I need something some kind of sign that I can let go of that other stuff, to allow myself to keep up this schedule and keep devoting myself to wrestling in the way I have been since I got noticed. And I feel like I'm on a deadline to do that, I really do because of the way I feel that clock ticking. It's easy to look on from the outside and say 'oh okay, she's young she has all the time in the world ahead of her'. Well yeah, I am young, but part of being young is also being confused, trying to scrape by and figure out what the hell you've gotten yourself into on a day to day basis."
She lets out a slow exhale, her voice cracking slightly despite her attempts to mask it.
"So this is more than just trying to win a belt for me. I don't really care about moral victories even though I'm considered a huge underdog, because I'm going against one of the best on the planet right now. Someone with a crapload of passion, who isn't just fighting me, but fighting the clock as well. There might be some people that think she does the things I do well, just better. But I refuse to believe that, not as a diss on her, but I have to believe that I have only just began to scratch the surface of what I'm capable of showing out there. Like, maybe I'll turn out to be an idiot for that, but I'm fine with looking dumb, wouldn't be the first time that's happened--what I wouldn't be able to stand is going 'what if' or knowing I could have done more, I could have found another level to tap into, I psyched myself out. I'm leaving absolutely everything I have out there, because I don't just need to win, this is my moment to find out for myself-- forget showing the world or making a name for the moment--what I'm made of. Maybe I am over my head, but that's pretty much been the state I've lived my life in for as long as I can remember, so I should be right at home. Sorry, that probably got a little too real just now, but that's where I am. Like Frank Costanza said, time for me to rise like a Phoenix from Arizona, see you at Tempest, Ana. "
Quiet, grounded, but seemingly a lot more confident and headstrong than she was just a few minutes ago, Frisky flashes a peace sign and walks off as the video cuts out to static.
Fin.