Post by bigbuffjuice on Feb 25, 2017 2:23:23 GMT
Zach’s Blog
Friday, 9:24 PM
Here we’ve come, to the end of the road. Unlike Boyz II Men, we can let PW go, and we will. My client Ron Swat is not dictating the words this time. No, this time you get to hear from Zachary Blovnoksi. My client is currently busy preparing for his next field of expertise, and let’s just say it’s a significant step up from pro wrestling. That leaves me in a position to tell the wrestling world and all the PW fans viewing this online that my client is officially retired from professional wrestling as soon as this match concludes. He has grown tired of the constricting rules and lack of masculinity in his profession, leading to him to train for another job. PW just doesn’t deserve a raging pile of testosterone like Ron Swat to be quite frank.
As soon as promoters heard this may be Ron Swat’s last professional wrestling match, they scrambled to throw out the contracts for big daddy Ron. Three, count em’ THREE companies contacted Ron for employment. The one problem with all of them? Pro Wrestling companies. Yech.
So this put me in a position to help out my client and look out for his best interests. I wasn’t satisfied with the offers coming our way, so I offered him an alternative. An alternative he bit right into like a nice juicy steak. It had never dawned upon Ron, heh that’s cool I rhymed, anyways it had never crossed his mind what I suggested. Once I did suggest it, he demanded to start his training that very day. And on that very day he faxed Phoenix Wrestling, giving them a two week notice with his last day being the Awakening. We’re more than prepared for life after Phoenix.
Now I know what you all may be thinking by reading this. Ron has given up. He’s not gonna even show up for event. He’s just going to lose via forfeit, leading RIchard Roque to get a win.
Wrong.
Ron wants nothing more than to rip Richard Roque limb from limb. He’s incredibly grateful to have this opportunity to put Roque into a coma. He’s dreamed about this day for many nights. Telling me in vivid detail about how amazing it would be to smash Richard’s huge nose into a busted blood patty, leaving it pouring out the sides of his face on the mat as Ron laughs and pounds away. An opportunity like this he described as “one of a kind, and shit.” To which I agree, and will gladly allow my client to honor the last match of his contract. If it’s in his full legal rights to bring a man he hates to near death, then I’m all for it.
Crushing and concussing RIchard Roque will mark the final chapter in his Phoenix career. It will be via W, as Ron is not walking out of there a loser. He has every intention of knocking out RIchard Roque, getting the W, and riding off into the sunset. As for why Ron would want to give up a lucrative contract here in Phoenix, well, the writing is on the wall. When the president refuses to bail out one of his top stars, and when that star is feuding with a top PW executive that doesn’t mean too many good things for Ron in the future. The writing was on the wall the minute Slaine Rodrick let Ron rot in jail for nearly a month. He could’ve bailed him out, but no instead he let him sit behind bars to teach him a lesson. You screwed yourself there Slaine, and now you’re missing out on what the industry calls a ‘controversial draw’. I know what Ron can bring to the table, and you’ll be kicking yourself once you seem him excel elsewhere.
Regardless, Ron is happy to be moving on and away from Phoenix. In closing he asked me to call you all a bunch of crybaby bitches, and that you all need to get buttfucked. Thank you.
Friday, 9:24 PM
Here we’ve come, to the end of the road. Unlike Boyz II Men, we can let PW go, and we will. My client Ron Swat is not dictating the words this time. No, this time you get to hear from Zachary Blovnoksi. My client is currently busy preparing for his next field of expertise, and let’s just say it’s a significant step up from pro wrestling. That leaves me in a position to tell the wrestling world and all the PW fans viewing this online that my client is officially retired from professional wrestling as soon as this match concludes. He has grown tired of the constricting rules and lack of masculinity in his profession, leading to him to train for another job. PW just doesn’t deserve a raging pile of testosterone like Ron Swat to be quite frank.
As soon as promoters heard this may be Ron Swat’s last professional wrestling match, they scrambled to throw out the contracts for big daddy Ron. Three, count em’ THREE companies contacted Ron for employment. The one problem with all of them? Pro Wrestling companies. Yech.
So this put me in a position to help out my client and look out for his best interests. I wasn’t satisfied with the offers coming our way, so I offered him an alternative. An alternative he bit right into like a nice juicy steak. It had never dawned upon Ron, heh that’s cool I rhymed, anyways it had never crossed his mind what I suggested. Once I did suggest it, he demanded to start his training that very day. And on that very day he faxed Phoenix Wrestling, giving them a two week notice with his last day being the Awakening. We’re more than prepared for life after Phoenix.
Now I know what you all may be thinking by reading this. Ron has given up. He’s not gonna even show up for event. He’s just going to lose via forfeit, leading RIchard Roque to get a win.
Wrong.
Ron wants nothing more than to rip Richard Roque limb from limb. He’s incredibly grateful to have this opportunity to put Roque into a coma. He’s dreamed about this day for many nights. Telling me in vivid detail about how amazing it would be to smash Richard’s huge nose into a busted blood patty, leaving it pouring out the sides of his face on the mat as Ron laughs and pounds away. An opportunity like this he described as “one of a kind, and shit.” To which I agree, and will gladly allow my client to honor the last match of his contract. If it’s in his full legal rights to bring a man he hates to near death, then I’m all for it.
Crushing and concussing RIchard Roque will mark the final chapter in his Phoenix career. It will be via W, as Ron is not walking out of there a loser. He has every intention of knocking out RIchard Roque, getting the W, and riding off into the sunset. As for why Ron would want to give up a lucrative contract here in Phoenix, well, the writing is on the wall. When the president refuses to bail out one of his top stars, and when that star is feuding with a top PW executive that doesn’t mean too many good things for Ron in the future. The writing was on the wall the minute Slaine Rodrick let Ron rot in jail for nearly a month. He could’ve bailed him out, but no instead he let him sit behind bars to teach him a lesson. You screwed yourself there Slaine, and now you’re missing out on what the industry calls a ‘controversial draw’. I know what Ron can bring to the table, and you’ll be kicking yourself once you seem him excel elsewhere.
Regardless, Ron is happy to be moving on and away from Phoenix. In closing he asked me to call you all a bunch of crybaby bitches, and that you all need to get buttfucked. Thank you.