Help needed.

[Valiant_ESQ]

I've been debating about putting this thread up for about a fortnight now, for various reasons. Chief of which is, I don't like asking for opinions on my work. Most days I'm pretty confident in what I put down, and on the days where I'm not I can usually suss why by myself. Plus I have a hell of an ego (I try to hide it) and tend to think a plea for help is a sign of unacceptable weakness. It's shameful.

But since coming to Phoenix, that attitude has changed, to the point where it's now only slightly embarrassing to come out and admit that:

I have no idea what I'm doing.

That was gonna be 'what I'm doing wrong', but honestly? I don't know what (if anything) I'm doing right either.

Before I go further: I realize how pathetic this can sound. I'm trying not to come off like the spoiled brat stamping their feet because they aren't getting their way. Phoenix is a very different fed from what I'm used to, chiefly because the standard of writing is so much higher than anywhere else I've frequented. I'm not blind to that, nor am I demanding that everyone else deliberately hobble themselves for my sake (memo to all: STOP BEING GOOD YOU BASTARDS ARGH).

I also don't feel like someone getting a raw deal necessarily. Actually, I'm generally pleased with how Veronica is presented on PW shows. She behaves more or less how she 'should' and acts accordingly with details I put into RPs, meaning someone's actually not just reading them but remembering them! You know how rare that is? I mean, if you've been in efedding more than a year you likely do. It's stuff like that which makes me want to stick around. It's making me feel like the staff are actually invested in my work and I love that.

...but at the same time that just makes my failures all the more painful, because ultimately it feels like I'm letting them down along with myself. More than not wanting to be the guy who can't put it together, I really don't wanna be the guy who gets a thousand chances and blows them all.

So here we are now. I've talked this over with a friend (not in this fed) and we mostly just argued inconclusively. He thinks I should switch characters for someone more 'serious'. I don't want to switch because historically it always screws up my time in any given fed, plus I don't feel I have a true 'serious' character in me because I only speak fluently in sarcasm. But I don't have any other friends in this game that I trust to be that private with, so now I take it public.

If you haven't read anything of mine yet or don't remember, here's a bunch of links in chronological order (unless I screwed something up):
Wave Motion
Bambi's First Step
Shaper of Dreams
Family Matters
Date Night
Jekyll > Hyde
Let Go
Taking It Seriously
Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me

I don't expect you to read all of it, I'm not that crazy or demanding. Just skim something when you have time and tell me what I'm missing because I'm kind of at my wit's end here. I try different settings, I try to make the CD stuff bear some kind of thematic relevance to what's about to happen on the show (and when that seems to fail I stop), I swap POVs to see if it makes a difference, but honestly, it's all just stabbing in the dark. I suppose 'get better at smacktalk' might help - I don't mind admitting that's always been a weak area for me - but...I don't think that's the root of the issue. At least I really hope it's not or I'm fucked.

Anyway...if you made it this far, thanks for reading at least, and thanks again in advance if you're planning a reply. I can't begin to stress enough, anything that feels like an area I could improve is worth mentioning. And also, again, it's not a matter of wanting to be the center of attention or perma-top-of-the-card.

I just don't want to keep feeling like the weak link around here.

- Craig M.

[Slaine Rodrick]

I think the best advice I can give you Craig is set a solid storyline with Veronica and stick with it. I think the jumping around of styles does no more than to show off your versatility, which you have. But what I personally would like to see from Veronica is a storyline I can get invested in. I feel bad as you did have something brewing with PK before he flaked. Even if you do get a storyline going, my advice is use your cast of characters to support Valiant, not overshadow her. It's only happened a couple times but it's enough to stick.

Valiant is a dynamic character with a ton of potential that I'm a fan of. I'm glad you like how we've portrayed her on the shows and I'm glad you've been a soldier through it all since the reboot. As for your shoots, your shoots were never the problem. You've got that section down. Just focus on a good story and focus on Veronica. You got this.-Nick

[Rowyn Starr]

Hey, Craig. I understand how you're feeling. I've been struggling and I'm a PW vet so don't feel like you're alone. PW's just an extremely tough place in terms of competitive e-fedding. That being said, you impressed me in how you handled this.

I agree with Nick in making sure that you've got a solid story for Veronica. You probably have a couple of ideas regarding the direction you want to take her in. Do that and see where her story takes you. From personal experience, you'd be surprised how much one portion of a CD on an RP can change the direction of the story into something unexpected and special. I think the only way I'd tweak his suggestion is to have one of those supporting characters be a little more than supportive. That character can be a little bit of the ying to Veronica's yang, but it can add to Veronica's story without overshadowing her.

If you have a POV you like or feel comfortable in using when you write, work on honing that style to enhance your story and save the other POV's for those times when you want to step out of that comfort zone and/or if doing so will have a bigger impact on the story itself.

That's about all I can think of in the way of suggestions. Hope that helps you and that you'll get more feedback that will help you out. Us struggling writers have to stick together, so you just keep hanging in there like you have been. You can dooo eeettt! -Martin-

[Valiant_ESQ]

Thanks for the words, you two.

Not sure exactly how much it's going to change short-term; I kind of already had an idea mapped out for this PPV and it doesn't specifically gel with what you've suggested. Not your fault, so if I lose that one I promise I won't blame it on you for sabotaging me or anything. (unless I feel like it) But these are points worth ruminating on, and yeah, I concede I sometimes get obsessed with my supporting characters to the detriment of the one that actually matters. Hopefully not gonna be an issue in future if I can help it.