Hedonism : Behind A Vacant Image : Psalm Nine

[Silver Eagle]

I hope you're feeling happy now

I see you feel no pain at all, it seems

I wonder what you're doin' now

I wonder if you think of me at all

Do you still play the same moves now?

Or are those special moods for someone else?

I hope you're feeling happy now

She sat alone at the table, candlelit and on a cool dark balcony. The moonlight provided a spotlight for her, the faint heat of the Dominican Republic allowing her to dress quite moderately, a beautifully designing summer dress that her mother had purchased for her birthday, greens and blues like her heterochromia afflicted eyes. Her curls hung down to her bare shoulders, the tips a regal purple, the bulk her natural glorious brunette like her mother. But she peered out with her father’s eyes, the same eyes of the Bongartz family. She pondered this as she sat there, how her birth came about, how her life led her here and how a life adopted into the carnival brought her to another type of circus. Her mother did tell her, albeit briefly, how her birth came about, and the reasons why she was given away. It was a tragic tale of mistrust, abuse, rape. They both cried tears that day, her mother Magdalena for retelling the story, Ana for hearing it for the first time. It was at that point that she truly understood why her life took that turn so early on, and why she wasn’t raised a member of the famous Lasiewicz family.



But her Mother, somehow, didn’t know the true story. A moment when her mother said that she blacked out during her horrific ordeal, and somehow that factor helped piece in the final piece of the jigsaw, the completion of the story that her birth father had told her. It wasn’t the Doctor that had done the deed, he wasn’t attacked before he could. It was the son, the boyfriend, the boy who supposedly sat there innocent and guilty and did nothing. Isaac Bongartz, deceased. Bobby B. Barabbas, reborn.



At that point she had to stop herself being sick. She knew the circumstances, she hated them, but the fact her real father was alive and well and wanting to help her in all things, to be a true father like he never could before… It was complicated. It especially confused her with his insistence that no one could ever know, and yet he was there representing her mother as her manager. He had been for three years, and was there more often than anyone, apart from herself, Sophie and of course her husband to be Chris Strike (who was starting to grow on Ana, after so many years of hatred. Surprising what smashing someone through two tables from the top of a twenty foot ladder can do for people’s relationships.)

Just because you feel good

Doesn't make you right, oh no

Just because you feel good

Still want you here tonight

She sighed, before pulling out a mirror and checking her makeup. Her father had called her, telling her that he had arranged an important business meeting for her, that would certainly excel her career. That was his words, anyway, and it did pain her to be away from her beloved Sophie here in a country she had never visited before, though she was quite sure that didn’t bother Papa. He still held a grudge against Sophie for what happened eighteen months ago, with that incident with that bitch Zoey. Anastasia hated remembering that, though she had forgiven Sophie long, long ago.

Does laughter still discover you?

I see through all the smiles that look so right

Do you still have the same friends now

To smoke away your problems and your life?

It seemed the man known as Barabbas hadn’t though, amongst other reasons he tried to explain once upon a time before she forearmed him in the face. Hitting him was easier than she thought, especially if she was fired up, which was happening much more often than she wanted. Only a couple of nights removed she had fought Fraser Flanagan, and a combination of him generally being an idiot (which he often was), singing the poorest choice of song during his intro (in the Caribbean, singing about a Hurricane) and then… then taunting her about the match with Ashlyn De Luca and Selena King in SSWA. That had been a sour note for the past week, with how it built up with the pair of them trying to push her away, dismiss her, make it all about them and then… How it ended. Ana had put Selena down, but Ashlyn had got the pin.



She tried to calm herself with controlled breathing, something that had failed her during her match with Fraser, that ‘other side’ of her spilling out for all to see, just like it had against GRENDEL last year, and she pounded the man from Norn Iron into an unconscious state. She didn’t even realise she had done it, just like the time before, and she knew that the man that she knew as Wiley would have been smiling as he witnessed it. She just got so angry sometimes, and the fact everything kept getting in her way, rules being broken, interference and straight up cheating had gripped her mind so much that she wasn’t surprised that she had eventually snapped. Again. And it worried her what would happen if this occurred again. And what if it was the wrong person it happened to? She had matches with the likes of Cassius Reed, who was another who had tried to dismiss her as nothing, ridiculous seeing as he was supposed to be the VP of Talent Relations for a company she worked for. She had a match in the Cult Classic against Lis Meyers, who was wildly popular with the members of the Jury, and when she had spoken to the budding wrestler and reporter, she was nothing but kind and friendly. And she had a match in the Queen of the Mountain against Kenzie Rowe, a woman she once counted as a friend, an ally in battle who backed her up during her record breaking performance in the Royale Battle match, who even shared a roof with her and now was… just somebody that she used to know. She felt so harsh thinking that, but it was true. She had tried to reach out to Kenzie, only a few weeks ago, and before their match was announced. A stupid reason really, and she had been drinking, but there was no response. Ignored. Ignored like Selena and Ashlyn and Cass and...

Oh how do you remember me?

The one that made you laugh until you cried

I hope you're feeling happy now

She felt it again, that anger brewing inside. What would their family and loved ones feel if Ana snapped at them? How would they react? How would the fans react? If she destroyed Cass in Phoenix, if she destroyed Lis in the Underground? What if she stepped into the Queen of the Mountain and did the same to Kenzie? How would people feel? What would Sophie feel? What would… Holly feel?

Oh, no

Just because you feel good

Doesn't make you right, oh no

Just because you feel good

Still want you here tonight, want you

“She would probably swear at you profusely,” came the voice. Quiet, sullen, the slight twang of an Australian accent but completely devoid of any form of emotion. The Songbird looked upwards, a figure of clearly coloured platinum hair, an emotionless but pretty face, a dead look in her eyes. She was dressed to kill in a sparkling dress of midnight, so low cut that it left little to the imagination. Ana was perplexed, and the lady in front of her sat across from her, placing her matching bag upon the table as a young waiter appeared and poured out two glasses of rich, red wine for them.



“Minerva? What on Earth are you doing here? I have a business meeting scheduled and you… I don’t even talk to you.” Starling’s eyes were wide, confused but not requiring answers from the strange and cryptic Daughter of Janus.



“Yes. That is correct. It is why I am here. For the meeting. With you.” Her voice was near on monotone, her facial features seemingly forced and there was seemingly nothing in her eyes at all, like they did not belong to her. Anastasia quaked as her anger grew for this interruption.



“Look, Minerva. I barely know you, and you’re not stupid enough not to realize the dealings I have had with your sister, and your bitch of a sister in law. Now, I have an important meeting regarding my appearances in the Underground, and I’d hate to be rude, but you are not in the Underground and this has nothing to do with you.” Starling was almost snarling, the angelic little beauty letting out a barrage before clutching the wine glass and taking a rather large chug of the alcoholic drink.



“Ah, yes. That is what you were informed. This is not a meeting regarding the Underground. This is a date.” Ana spat her wine out, partially over the table, partially over herself. “Ah, the split wine technique. I have used it myself. Now you require to take your clothes of to be cleaned, yes? I am sure a private room can be made available.” Ana was speechless, her face growing as red as the wine whilst the Janus twin had no emotion whatsoever. “I thought you might be forward, but this is unexpected.”



“T-this is not a date! And… and I’m not trying to get naked!” Starling exclaimed. “What is wrong with you.”



“A great many things. I can demonstrate when we find somewhere private.” Minerva said with a smile.



“No. No, no, no. no!” came Ana’s reply, forceful and serious, shaking her head. “T-this is not a date. I am a married woman, and you are out of order.”



“But you take other women to bed with you and your wife. Would you prefer to call Sophie to join us?” Ana was silent. How could she know that? They were silent about the entire experience that her and Sophie had decided to share with their friend, her ex Steri. There was no one, no one who would have told anyone but the three of them, and none of them would say a word. “None of you said a word about it. No one did. Do not worry. Your friend Asteria nor your wife has said anything on the matter, no have I spoken to them. Was it pleasing? I imagine it was.” Starling almost fell out of her seat, and if it wasn’t for Minerva reaching out and grabbing her by the wrist, pulling her back from tumbling in shock. Ana had gone a pale shade of white, her skin like snow on an open field as her rose red lips quivered. “You have not answered. Are you sick?”



“N-no. Not sick,” was the only thing Ana could utter. What other secrets were known? No… she didn’t want to know. She had to remain cool, she had to remain calm.



“Remain cool and calm. Drink. It’s soothing.” Minerva uttered. Ana didn’t even want to question the response, merely scooping the chalice with both hands and began to drink deeply, emptying the glass in seconds, before Minerva took the bottle and poured her a fresh serving. “Your father sent me here.” And the wine was everywhere once more. Ana looked up to Minerva, who had just wiped a few droplets from her own porcelain white face, the emotionless smile never fading. The younger Lasiewicz simply stared up at her. “Your secret, all of them, very much safe. I have no need to use them or share them. I like honesty, but also understand your need for silence.”



“What do you want? Why are you here?” Ana blurted out. “Why did you say this was a date, and how… how do you know what you know?”



“Your father arranged this date. He believes you can do better than your wife. He wanted me to show you a side of life away from her.” Minerva’s words were so sudden that Ana was taken further off guard. Her father, Bobby, he still held that damn grudge. “He still holds that grudge.” Was she reading her mind? “Possibly.”



Ana stood, leaning over the balcony as she breathed in deeply, trying to take in the past few moments. She cough and wheezed, before gulping down more of the wine. Why this, why now? Just when she thought she had everything back in order, more mess appeared. Everything was becoming more and more tangled, and she was struggling to come to grips with it all. A hand was placed upon her back, rubbing it in a soothing manner that she found strangely calming, a soft lullaby coming from the strange individual by her side that seemed hauntingly familiar. She looked to her left, seeing Minerva there, the RISE Tag Team Champion staring out into space. Ana forced the words out. “T-this is not a date. We are not having sex and I have no idea what Pa--Bobby is playing at.”



“Oh. Good. I have a lover in my room already. Would have been difficult to explain to her that I had excused myself to have relations with someone else.This is pleasing.” There was something not quite right with her, something unnatural in her every movement and word, and yet she seemed strangely relieved at Ana's words. “Not that you are not pleasing to the eye, more the circumstances. I may masturbate over our interaction in the future, but I am pleased it will not go further on this night given the situation.” Her smile, it was like it was glued on. Starling shook her head and sat down, a million and one thoughts running through her troubled, and now clearly disgusted mind. Minerva sat across from her, taking her hand in hers, but Starling pulled it back.



“W-what is wrong with you?” Starling questioned firmly.



“Everything,” was the simple yet effective response. “You are troubled as well, I can tell. Your father seems as such too. His actions and words are more forceful and desperate as of late. He has moved some pieces that even I did not believe he would or could. His request was unexpected, but I am obedient.” She blinked, possibly for the first time that Ana had ever noticed.



“When did he ask you? Did he say anything else?” She questioned.



“Today. 11:45am local time.” she responded quickly. “He said he had arranged a date, and he wanted me to take your mind away from the pains in your life, which I believe was referring to your beloved.” She took her first sip of wine, her stare never breaking. “I believe Barabbas does not quite understand your affections. You love her dearly, I can tell. If that why you agreed to take Asteria into your bed? To please her?”

She’s in my head. How can she be in my head? Get out of my head!

“But it’s so nice there. I like what you see.”



“Stop!” Ana exclaimed. “I don’t want to hear anymore from you. Nothing. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” Starling let out a deep sigh, tears in her eyes and she felt like collapsing into nothingness. Minerva did nothing, merely stared at her for what seemed like an age, her fingers drumming a beat upon the table.



“I do not mean to be cruel, if that is what you believe. You were kind to me once, you do not remember. You do not remember much at all.” She paused, looking out into the moonlight, before she stood upright. “I will leave you to your exotic thoughts. I will inform Barabbas of my failure and return to my lover. She will be pleased I did not take the requested course of action.”



“You will not utter a fucking word,” blurted out the Songbird. She gazed up with an inferno brewing in her eyes, full of hellish anger and fury, accompanied by a low tone to her voice that was vastly different to her usual squeak. “You will not tell anyone you came here. You will not repeat anything that was said here. You will not speak to me again.”



Minerva was taken back by this, lost in Starling’s phoenix fire eyes. She stuttered, then was confused as to why she stuttered. “I see why the family feared you. I will not speak of this, nor what I know. I swear it. But we will meet again, Heiress. We will meet again.” Minerva turned to leave, stopping at the doorway before turning back one last time. “I was in love once. But it ended. I don’t know if I will ever feel it again, so to save the risk of losing yours, hold on to it by any means necessary. Do not join the Dead.” She then turned and left.



Anastasia couldn’t look, scooping up the leftover wine Minerva was drinking and gulped it down. She pulled out her phone, searching through her contacts before putting to her ear as it rang out to answer phone. “You have some nerve, Papa. Ring me back. Ring me back now!” And she slammed it down upon the table as tears grew in her eyes. “When it rains, it pours,” she whispered.



And then the heavens opened.

I wonder what you're doing now

I hope you're feeling happy now

I wonder what you're doing now

I hope you're feeling happy now