Post by Maz on Aug 12, 2017 19:44:10 GMT
BREAK FREE FROM IT ALL
すべて無料です
- - - -
I can’t...I can’t do it.
I’m losing the edge. I...I’ve lost again, and again. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why can’t I do this. Why can’t I beat that piece of shit? It makes no fucking sense.
I had him...
[ Forces himself head-first into the wall...]
FUCK YOU, CASSIUS!!!!
I’m losing my edge. I’m losing my ways.
FUCK YOU, CASSIUS!!!
He should be dead. He should be bleeding out somewhere. His crown on me. His title...on me. Yet instead...
FUCK YOU, CASSIUS!!!
[ Rams skull into the mirror three times, completely destroying it. Forehead cut. ]
AAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!
THE SONG OF ECHOES
Riverside, California - 2:30pm
For what would’ve been one quarter of a day’s time by way of flight, it was a day and a half by hitching rides with strangers and by foot. It was a long, dwindling ride on both accounts. He couldn’t sweat that brutal defeat by the hands of Cassius to retain. He counted for weeks in his head to the day he would unseat the King and...it all came and went. Violent wrath that ended harshly for him. From the bloody, sinful streets of Vegas back to the hopeless state of California.
He was a mess. Face bruised, eyes red with black saucers underneath. Sleep was warranted but he remained awoke. He returned to the last place he forbidden to ever return back to. The place where no one of his stature would ever want to return to. His body trembled, hands included as it was afternoon time in Riverside. Even Olly seemed unlike himself, shook just as much as his owner.
"I can do it. I have to! I have no choice but to do it."
"You always hold a choice. That choice is to remain calm. You were lucky to escape them last time. Why repeat the hurt?"
He remained standing at the door’s entrance. Confused look on his face.
"But he wants to help me control this...disorder. I’m falling apart by the day. The only thing keeping me together is Whiskey. The barrel is running low."
"Do you even remember the last time you submitted yourself for treatment? All the pain, the hurt you suffered by the hands of that bitch? She deserved to lose her business and her life. She told nothing but lies."
He sighed, heavily.
"She...she was just trying to help me through with the others. You made me do that! You forced me to burn her building to the ground. I...I need help. I need control. After what has gone down, right now I have zero control."
He was going completely ‘batshit crazy’. Talking to himself, eyes wide, voice loud. Panic was felt. If you listened close, the rate of his heartbeat had sped up. From the second floor, the sight of the blinds shifting and that slight gap opening. He was watching. Deep down, salivating the final words from the last meeting the two had that he’d never see Masaru here ever again. Only for a couple of weeks and some days to see just that. Masaru at his business’s doorsteps.
"I’m going in..."
He dragged his boots as he entered the building. Looking up to the second floor while he walked, his eyes were fixated on seeing Richard...Richard Choo. Such a weird surname to fit the given name with, but the smirk on his face was long-awaited when he saw Masaru climb those steps, wincing with each step climbed. His body condition was absolutely fucked in more ways than one...but that's why hardcore fans enjoyed him. He just keeps going.
"So glad to see you, Mr. Inoue. It’s funny because the last time we spoke, you wanted nothing to do with me. But you’re here. I must’ve been a bookmark in your memory that needed revisiting."
Masaru remained still, giving a subtle nod.
"Come into my Office!"
Masaru followed him into his office before taking a seat as Olly flew off and perched himself onto a more stable setting such as the corner table near the door.
"So Mr. Inoue, how can I help you?"
Looking around with paranoia as his fingers tapped the wooden arms of the chair, he pondered.
"You can help by not giving a fuck! That would be great way to start!"
Masaru shaked his head traumatically, trying to erase whatever was bothering him.
"You can’t shake me! I’m here forever. My voice unlocks every part of you. You need to get out of here. He’s fraudulent like that bitch! How many times will you be played?"
"Mr. Inoue?..."
Richard’s eyes zoomed in closer, his eyes set on a spot as his head slightly tilted before he reached out to point at it. The blood-soaked bandaged that was right under his bottom lip, near his chin. A missing piercing. The one that got ripped out by the actions of Cassius Reed in the midst of battle.
Masaru touched without looking, feeling the bandage before ripping it off. For the normal person, the sensitivity of hairs being pulled would make one scream but Masaru, he felt nothing as he laid the bandage on Richard’s desk. Drips of blood came running from that still-open wound.
"You’re bleeding!"
"No shit, genius!"
"Yeah, I know...It’s nothing. I’ve had worst, A yanked piercing from my chin is no biggie!"
Maz shrugged his shoulders as if things were just ‘dandy’ but they were far from such. He was pissed, aggravated and itty-bitty ashamed. It was like a teenage sweetheart came and took his heart for a joyride before shitting all over it with a smile.
"You need to talk to me. I promise I can listen and give some good pointers or advice if needed. You are not okay. You need to unravel the cord before you choke."
"What and who was this ‘Richard Choo’ guy? How does he know about your issues? No one knows those secrets except me. You can’t trust this guy."
"Talking won’t help. It won’t get rid of it, the feels, the mindset, the everyday struggle of trying to be sane, for just even a minute. All I can think about is violence, hurt, pain. It’s all I’ve known. I...can’t cooperate normally. There is no “fixing” this, no matter what you try to advise."
He sighed, not taking the constant rejection well. He grabbed his notepad, quickly scribbling down something as he looked back at Masaru momentarily.
"Look, you came back here for a reason. You obviously are deep inside ‘crying for help’ but won’t take it from someone who’s trying to help you."
"Get up from out of your chair and leave this shit. You don’t need the help."
Masaru looked around oddly, the accelerating speed of his fingers tapping the wooden arms of the chair, he pushed himself up out of it as Olly took notice.
"...You sure I don’t?"
Richard’s face drew question marks as he held a smirk, a bit clueless to the random outburst from Masaru who was still in an awkward stance. Wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave or stay where he was.
"Come again?"
"Nothing! I’m...I’m no--"
"Don’t you dare utter those goddamn words. LEAVE NOW!"
"I can’t.."
Richard rose up out of his chair as Masaru still stood.
"You can’t what, Mr. Inoue? Speak. Don’t be afraid. There are no recorders or any nonsense in here. Speak to me."
Richard urged for Masaru to “spill the beans” but Masaru wasn’t feeling his ‘selling point’. Standing on a ball of confusion, he didn’t know which way to turn. His legs trembled erratically as he fell down into the seat. He shook his head violently before going into a rocking motion in the chair. After a minute of his antics, all had gone calm...or so one thought.
"Mr. Inoue? .... Mr. Inoue??"
Richard, steady behind his desk tried to get Masaru’s attention but Maz’s head was aimed down. Richard came from around his desk as he knelt at the side of chair beside Maz.
"Just calm down...you’ll be fine!"
Trying to reassure him that all would be fine, inside, none of it was going to come true. Yeah, he had paused on his antics but his strange motions were still on showcase. An unexpected drop from his right eye had rolled down his cheek before plopping onto his hand, immediately catching the attention of Richard whose jaw dropped.
=================== ~ ~ ~ ===================
You should’ve put me to my end, Cassius. Why, why were you just happy to get the win? You could’ve killed two birds with one stone, yet the lack of a killer mindset, you just settled for retaining your precious title. If I were you, I’d done everything I could to kill me, for once and for all. Leave it in Slaine’s hand to find a suitable replacement for my dearest Aurora as her tag partner.
No, you chose not to fully erase the stain...just partial and that is a bad, bad decision. Yes, Cassius, you brought the ruckus, I agree, I felt your fury, I felt your pain. It was a thrill ride to see you in that color but you still failed to rid of me. You allow me another opportunity to deface you when the time is appropriate. But good for you, Cassius. You kept to your word.
While you’re at it, that piercing you ripped, keep that for good luck or stick it in your goddamn eye socket. Increase your pain tolerance...or something. I’ll catch you again soon. Real soon. No longer are you the focus. My focus angrily shifts towards the long-established, long-lived “hero” that has resided here in Phoenix Wrestling for ages, he and his twin brother. The King of Openers and/or dark matches against those unworthy of a on-air spot, they’ve killed careers before they could even begin here.
But now I get the favor of ending careers.
Twin-Nisher, I admire how you never fail to give faith to the life of Professional Jobbers. You and Fin give them hope that they too can be so-called heroes. Dying heroes. You enjoy emptying the trash here. Rapping Finnish Trashmen. You’re coming into this matchup as the fresher man, as if that means anything these days. I’ve endured hell from both sides of a cage and endured hell versus the “Iron Chump” Cassius Reed. I’m on a baddd losing streak and I’m hungry to get back to my regular routine. That unfortunately begins with you.
We have something in common, we are good with our legs, our feet. We are specifically good at kicking things or people. You’re a kickboxing legend, I’m a...I just enjoy kicking people’s heads off their shoulders. This is a battle that you are losing, Twin. You will not be able to withstand my kicks. Especially after all I’ve gone through, the anger is pulsating through these limbs.
This will be my official “highlight reel” of just how fucking sadistic I can be and why I carry the nickname, “Mazzacre” with a smile. I’m your beautiful nightmare. As they watch on as I disembowel you with my lethal kicks, jaws will drop, thoughts will emerge, those who’ve come at me with extreme confidence without proper knowledge will be forced to rethink their strategies. They will see just how lethal I can be. I don’t break hearts, I break souls, I crush dreams. I crush false prophets. It’s what I’ve done since the beginning. I hurt people. I hurt myself. I have a sick addiction to pain as my tolerance is an all-time high. I don’t beg for mercy, I beg for more.
Redemption 111 will be the night Masaru Inoue killed a beloved icon. Johnny Rebel hates you. He has to in order for him to place you in a match with a psychopath like me knowing damn well what the end result is going to be. Maybe he’s salty from his upsetting defeat by Valiant. Maybe this is payback to watch others suffer. He gave your brother Finn Whelan. He gives you Masaru Inoue, a known psycho with no end limits.
Shame isn’t it?
=================== ~ ~ ~ ===================
The scene completely made a switch. Masaru who was strained, confounded and unsure of what to do, he was now on the outside of the building, sitting along the same curb he was found at a few weeks back. Olly was cuddled in his arms as he lightly pet it, trying to obviously get his mind to warp elsewhere.
"You can’t run from it. It’s in your DNA. It’s who you are. There is no glitch, no fix to repair things. You’re what you are."
"It’s not doing me any favors. Look at me, look what happened. I let that bastard talk slick and in the end walk away with MY gold."
The sound of one clearing their throat was heard as Maz didn’t flinch. His sight remained on Olly who’s eyes kept a lookout on everything, including who was behind. Richard had slipped from the second floor down to see Maz outside of the building. He took a seat on the sidewalk curb, a good two feet from Masaru. Pulling out a cigarette, he grabbed for his lighter, lighting the cigarette, giving no eye contact to Maz.
"I can’t say I understand you or where you coming from but the pain, I can feel your pain. As much as you try to hide it, it’s eating you alive inside. Whatever it is, it’s got enough impact on your process."
Taking several puffs after saying his piece, Masaru remained silent, choosing not to fall into that lane.
“You can’t “feel” shit.”
"I’m not like some who play tricks to get into your head. I’m really trying to help you."
"Ignore it! It’s not worth the trouble."
"...The feel of a bloody knife in your hand, your heart rate, your eyes, the cold, tingly feel inside your body you feel down your spine as you watch someone bleed out from the neck.."
Masaru didn’t even have to look to see the hard gulping swallow the Psychiatrist took as his eyes grew wide.
"You don’t know how good that felt for me at the time. The level of stress, hatred that was built up, released after just one solid blow. My Father, he deserved to feel my pain in that one fateful shot. He earned it."
Richard’s eyes grew even more wide.
"You..you....."
He couldn’t even utter the rest of his words out but Masaru nodded.
"...Why?"
He did get that word out as Masaru gave him a brief stare.
"He deserved it, I said! He was a dick, a piece of shit. He just worked, hit up bars, fill up of Sake and come home drunk and start pointless arguments with Mother that led to him slapping her around in drunken fashion. Years, she withstood his antics until I grew old enough and took care of it."
Masaru smirked.
"He deserved it. He never supported me. He called me all kinds of names that just angered me in the worst way. I snapped. I regret nothing. Mother told me to run off and that is what I did. It all started from there."
Richard nodded his head.
"I was not expecting to hear that, but this is a great start."
"Why did I just reveal that? Why did I just confess? I was supposed to ignore. Fucking idiot!"
"This is definitely an amazing start. This explains some. Going to need some more sessions. This was good. Believe me, this is remaining confidential."
Masaru shook his head.
"I trust no one except for two people on this planet."
Richard nervously nodded.
"Pain and torture are the only things that gives me comfort these days along with Olly."
Masaru placed Olly on the ground before raising himself up off the curb. His eyes searched, glaring as Olly flew up to his usual spot on Maz’s jacket, feeling at home. Richard followed, holding onto that last line Masaru said.
"...Masochism?!"
Maz nodded his head.
"Yes, although I prefer it to be called “Maz-ochism”. I feed off of it. An ATM of Pain!"
"Are you satisfied now?"
Masaru took his left hand, ruffling his hair up a bit before walking off, leaving Richard in a pause of a state. He was on his way to wherever that could be as things went to a slow fade.
